Come into my world

My Wishes

2011-11-06T23:36:00.007+08:00

Wow just realised I have not posted any entry for nearly a year & this is my 100th post!
There's so much stuff going on in my life during this one year which I dunno where to start. Ok, let's start with the most significant change in my life.

Deng deng deng deng......I am finally a MOM!!!:D
At times I still thought I am dreaming and can't believe I finally made it.
Anyway, I am so proud that I gave birth to my dearest son and hence, I am carrying out my vow to be a vegetarian for a year upon he turned 1 month old.
Although due to the drop of pregnancy hormones and made my health turned haywire, I have no regrets whenever I look at him.
However, I realized that health is the most important asset of one's life. Without health, no matter how much money you have got, you still can't find happiness.

Hence, my wishes for now are very simple:

1) My right eye to recover very quickly and do not require to undergo any surgery since there's a lot of complications in the surgery
2) Me and my family including my 3 dogs will be blessed with good health

That's all I wished for now...

Count Down

2010-11-19T15:29:00.002+08:00

Can't imagine this is happening to me! Although I have already passed the state of surprise, but not sure whether I have all the preparation.
Looking forward for the days to pass quickly and I got to prepare myself to be a full time vegetarian for a year soon to honour my vow.

No Death, No Fear

2010-10-21T13:42:00.005+08:00

I came across the book titled 'No Death, No Fear' by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh from the library 2 months ago. Master Thich Nhat Hanh is a buddhist monk, teacher, peace activist etc residing in France and he has been to South East Asia recently to spread his wisdom and knowledge. I got to know about him after I borrowed that book and so coincidentally, I saw an article about him in the newspaper on the same day and realised he's a famous Zen Master.

No Death, No Fear is an enriching read. To sum it up, this book offers a deep perspective about death and elaborated life does not cease to exist after death but it would just manifest into another form. Actually, I know this concept pretty long ago but it's still a refreshing read and remind me the notion of "nothingness".

Sigh...although I truly understand and agree with the sayings, I believe when death strikes upon my close ones, I still find it hard not to grieve over it.
Contradicting right? Actually I felt that head is still controlled by the emotions so even though the head knows the doctrine, ultimately would have to depend whether the head or the heart is stronger in that case. I am always a 'heart' person than a 'head' person. Whenever I thought of my 3 dogs, I can't help feeling sad when I imagine they were to leave me someday, especially all 3 are not young anymore. Sob sob. Need to practise harder so that my head is stronger in every sense.

Hmm...guess it's still a long, long way for me to attain nirvana.

Sucks

2010-10-04T21:55:00.004+08:00

My health sucks! I got the throat infection for the 4th time if I remember correctly...Damn it!
The pain has been with me for the past 2 weeks, really affecting my mood & my life.
Went to see the same ENT specialist in Mount E again & he was not surprised to see me anymore. Seems like the same problem's returning at a shorter time frame and I can be sure this is not caused by cigarettes since I have already quitted smoking for months!
Anyway, there's nothing I can do now, I can't eat any strong medication due to some reasons. I can only pray for it to recover naturally & nobody knows how long it will take. It already took 3-4 months to recover when I was on steriods and antibiotics previously. Hoping for a miracle now...

10 most enjoyable moments

2010-09-27T23:43:00.008+08:00

1. Lying in bed listening to your favourite tunes while reading a good book at the same time
2. Found a note on the floor & nobody's around you
3. Realising the person you dislike is also being disliked by many others
4. Eating steamboat on a rainy evening
5. Manage to complete a difficult task at work
6. Found another person sharing the same thoughts as you
7. Being welcome by ur dogs upon reaching home
8. Saw something which u wanted to buy for a long time selling at half price
9. Looking at the price of the share u bought rising at an incredible speed within an hour
10. Knowing the one u like, like u more

心语

2010-08-11T13:40:00.016+08:00

Random phrases which I collated from the Chinese sites. Haha damn emo...

感谢伤害你的人，因为他磨炼了你的心志！感谢绊倒你的人，因为他强化了你的双腿！感谢欺骗你的人，因为他增进了你的智慧！感谢藐视你的人，因为他觉醒了你的自尊！感谢遗弃你的人，因为他教会了你该独立！

生命是一个不停飘移的过程，你我所走过的每一个地方，遇见的每一个人，也许都将成为驿站，成为过客，一向喜欢追忆，喜欢回顾，喜欢不忘记。如今却发现，深刻在心里的那些东西早已在他们的时间里化成遗忘，不要让心太累，不要追想太多已不属于自己的人和事。

当你遇到魔鬼型的主管，接受他的磨练吧。因为能跟魔鬼打交道的人，大多能成为人上之人，降魔高手。

遇到一件事，如果你喜欢它，那么享受它；不喜欢，那么避开它；避不开，那么改变它；改不了，那么接受它；接受不下，那么处理它；难以处理，那么就放下它。其实，人最难的是“放下”。放下了，就释然了。

慢慢的才知道，太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己；慢慢的才知道，对自己好的人会随着时间的流逝越来越少；慢慢的才知道，真心对一个人好不一定有回报，而你忽略的人往往有可能是最重视你的；慢慢的才知道，未必做每件事情都有意义，可还是得尽量的美丽，给自己留一份美好的记忆…

我们之所以会心累，就是常常徘徊在坚持和放弃之间，举棋不定；我们之所以会烦恼，就是记性太好，该记的，不该记的，都会留在记忆里；我们之所以会痛苦，就是追求的太多；我们之所以不快乐，就是奢望的太多。不是我们拥有的太少，而是我们计较的太多。

许多事情，总是在经历过以后才会懂得。一如感情，痛过了，才会懂得如何保护自己；傻过了，才会懂得适时的坚持与放弃，在得到与失去中我们慢慢地认识自己。其实，生活并不需要这些无谓的执著，没有什么就真的不能割舍。学会放弃，生活会更容易。

有些人一直没机会见面，等有机会了，却又迟疑了。有些事一直没机会做，等有机会了，却不想再做了。有些话埋藏在心中好久，没机遇说，等有时机说的时候，却说不出口了。有些爱一直没机会爱，等有机会了，已经不爱了。

每个人的电话本里，都会有那么一个你永远不会打，也永远不会删的号码；每个人的心里，都会有那么一个你永远不会提，也永远不会忘的人。

人生十大困惑 ------ 有些事，我们总是弄不懂；有些人，我们总是猜不透；有些道，我们总是悟不尽；有些理，我们总是想不通；有些坎，我们总是跨不过；有些伤，我们总是治不好；有些天，我们总是睡不着；有些地，我们总是去不了；有些情，我们总是说不出；有些爱，我们总是得不到。

在对的时间，遇见对的人，是一生的幸福；在对的时间，遇见错的人，是一场心伤；在错的时间，遇见错的人，是一段荒唐；在错的时间，遇见对的人，是一阵叹息……

男人对女人的伤害，不一定是他爱上了别人，而是他在她有所期待的时候让她失望，在她脆弱的时候没有扶她一把。

有人说，爱的反面不是恨，而是淡漠。淡漠，意味着心里不再有对方的位置，而不再想起。没有余恨，没有深情，更没有力气和心思再做哪怕多一点的纠缠，所有剩下的，都是无谓！

两个男人追一个女人，用情浅的那个先放弃；两个女人追一个男人，用情深的那个先放弃。

最痛苦的是，消失了的东西，它就永远的不见了，永远都不会再回来，却偏要留下一根细而尖的针，一直插在你心头，一直拔不去，它想让你疼，你就得疼。

别为小小的委屈难过：人生在世，注定要受许多委屈。而一个人越是成功，他所遭受的委屈也越多。要使自己的生命获得极值和炫彩，就不能太在乎委屈，不能让它们揪紧你的心灵、扰乱你的生活。你要学会一笑置之，你要学会超然待之，你要学会转化势能。智者懂得隐忍，原谅周围的那些人，让我们在宽容中壮大。

深夜来临的时候，是一个人心灵最脆弱的时候，也是思念最疯狂的时候。其实一个人并不孤单，想念一个人的时候才是真正的孤单。

爱情中最伤感的时刻是后期的冷淡 ------ 一个曾经爱过你的人，忽然离你很远，咫尺之隔，却是天涯。曾经轰轰烈烈，曾经千回百转，曾经沾沾自喜，曾经柔肠寸断。到了最后，最悲哀的分手竟然是悄无声息。

宽恕、原谅并不代表忘记，也不代表赦免，而是放自己一条生路；孤单不是有没有朋友，而是有没有人住在你心里。

不要让幸福擦肩而过：溜掉的小鱼，总是最美丽的；走得最急的，都是最美的风景；伤得最深的，总是最真的感情。失去的情人，总是最懂你的。

生命中令人悲伤的一件事是你遇到了一个对你来说很重要的人，但却最终发现你们有缘无份，因此你不得不放手。

再好的东西都有失去的一天，再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天，再爱的人，也有远走的一天，再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。该放弃的决不挽留，该珍惜的决不放手。分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过。

有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。有时候，听到一首歌，就会突然想起一个人。有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。丢了的自己，只能慢慢捡回来。

如果彼此出现早一点，也许就不会和另一个人十指紧扣。又或者相遇的再晚一点，晚到两个人在各自的爱情经历中慢慢地学会了包容与体谅、善待和妥协，也许走到一起的时候，就不会那么轻易地放弃，任性地转身，放走了爱情。没有早一步也没有晚一步，那是太难得的缘份。

总有一个人，一直住在心里，却告别在生活里。忘不掉的是回忆，继续的是生活，来来往往身边出现了很多人，总有一个位置，一直没有变。看看温暖的阳光，偶尔还是会想一想。

懂得了遗憾，就懂得了人生。遗憾是一种感人的美，一种心碎的美。因为有了它，生命将更值得回味；因为有了它，才有了令我们一生也无法忘怀的东西；因为有了它，才有了只能在内心深处产生共鸣的那个人。如果没有经历过遗憾，又怎么能懂得珍惜？如果不是遗憾，又怎么可以那么刻骨铭心？

每一段记忆，都有一个密码。只要时间，地点，人物组合正确，无论尘封多久，那人那景都将在遗忘中重新拾起。你也许会说“不是都过去了吗？”其实过去的只是时间，你依然逃不出，想起了就微笑或悲伤的宿命，那种宿命本叫“无能为力”。

Inception overdose

2010-07-31T18:33:00.007+08:00

I guess I suffer from an overdose of the movie - Inception. (I love this show so much that I watched it again on my own last Sunday) Since then, have been having weird dreams...I was almost late for my physio therapy in Mount E this morning because I was awoke in the middle of the night due to a weird dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the street when I suddenly saw a tiger running towards me. Surprisingly, it never attacked me and just ran past me. Hence, I continued to walk further and saw a gory scene in front of me. I saw a few tigers circling around another tiger's dead body and they were devouring the flesh of the dead tiger. I did not feel any fear in my dream but just a tinge of sadness looking at the dead tiger's body being tear apart slowly.

I continued to walk further and noticed there's a group of hunters hiding behind the trees, trying to ambush the rest of the tigers with their long guns!!! I gradually realised the hunters were trying to trick the tigers and ambushed them at a go. WTF, I was so pissed off but I could not do anything in my dream. When the hunters were about to shoot the tigers, I woke up and it was only 3am in the morning. Took some time to get back to sleep again and only woke up at 8am for my 8.30am appointment in Mount E. But wow! I still managed to reach Mount E at 8.30am sharp!

Anyway, not sure whether it was coincidence, a T-shirt caught my eye when I went shopping in Ngee Ann City after my physio therapy. It reminded me of my dream immediately when I saw it and I decided to get it tho it's men's Tshirt! Love the word "Savage Life" and the alphabets were formed by different kind of wild animals. Cool right? And it only cost $11.90! =)

寂寞

2010-07-25T01:21:00.007+08:00

突然感觉很惆怅，心里就是闷闷不乐的。
不知道是不是刚看完全套的“泡沫之夏”而得来的失落感。
结局真的跟我猜测的一样，夏沫终于跟欧辰在一起。
虽然我也蛮喜欢欧辰的，但是我的心里还是偏向洛熙多一点，因为我觉得洛熙太可怜了！！！
洛熙最后还是一个人,真的太令人疼惜了。。。
哈哈突然觉得很好笑，难道我为了一套戏而影响心情吗？
只是我还是想不到为什么心里还是闷闷的。
有时候，我会想是不是每个人都和我一样，偶而也有空虚的时候，必竟人终究是寂寞的。
你一个人来到这世界，一眨眼后，及将离开这世界时，你还是一个人。
所以人的灵魂是寂寞的。。。
啊。。。越写越悃了，还是睡觉去，盼能到我的梦中的极乐世界，就会感觉快乐了！

My first Balenciaga motorcycle bag from Cannes!

2010-07-05T20:37:00.008+08:00

So excited to receive my first Bbag from Cannes. I ordered a Sorbet Part Time in regular hardware from a SA named Jorge and I was relieved I trusted the right man. The leather was so soft and luxurious and I can't help wanting more. Surprised that my liking for this bag is much more than my Chanel Maxi in caviar which cost much much more. Furthermore, this bag was bought at Euros bottommost (1.7). So happy!!!

Actually, I was lemming for the colour - Amethyst cos I want something that shout boomz! But too bad, this colour was past season and no longer available in all the boutiques in Europe. Hence, I settled for Sorbet as the gals in Purse forum said this colour is most similar to Amethyst and it's a kind of Pop pink. I love pop pink!

Here's a picture of Amethyst Part Time in regular hardware and after comparing the 2 pics, can tell there's a tinge of purple in Amethyst but Sorbet is solely pink. Anyhow, I am satisfied with Sorbet and I'll probably wait for another Amethyst to be launched in the near future and I will grabbed it in another model, either Day or Pom Pom. =p

Oh my, when can a woman get enough of bags???

泡沫之夏

2010-06-23T11:36:00.007+08:00

A great drama that I am watching currently. It has only aired up to 4 episodes in Taiwan so far and I can't wait to know the ending. Hence I purposely travelled all the way down to Kinokuniya last Thursday to buy the novels since this drama was adapted from a popular novel written by a China author. Managed to complete the 3 thick books over the weekend as I can't stop reading once I started.

The love triangle story between the 3 characters was intensely written. After completing the novels and watching 4 episodes from the net, I still can't really determine which male character I root for more. Ou Chen and Luo Xi are both so captivating. How I wish I am Xia Mo...Haha but after some thoughts, I guess rather not. It's too hard to make the decision since whatever decision made will ultimately hurt the other person...It's a cruel world.

Embarking on a journey

2010-06-04T16:45:00.007+08:00

Finally decided to embark on that journey. Guess it will be really tough and I hope I will be strong to overcome anything that comes along the way. Hope it will eventually be a fruitful journey for me and not a journey to nowhere.
Wish me good luck!

Back to reality

2010-04-10T11:58:00.046+08:00

Finally have a chance to sit down and update my trip here.

Wow, time really flies, have been anticipating for the trip to happen and it's already over in a tick. Really don't feel like going back to work after resting for nearly 2 weeks. Sigh, but what to do? Life still goes on and gotta go back to reality.

Missed the days we spent in Paris and Venice most. Paris is really beautiful and Venice is beyond words, especially Burano island.

Felt so glad that I made it to Louvre Museum in Paris, a place where I longed to go for a long time. As for Burano, I got to know from Bryan Wong's travel show on Channel U or 8 quite sometime ago and thought of paying a visit someday and there I was. Burano is specialized in making laces and it was a pity that I did not have time to visit their lace museum. I love the vibrant colours of the houses in Burano as they gave out a cheery mood and atmosphere.

As for Florence, gelato left me the greatest impression of all as they were considered the best in Italy and I have to raise both hands to agree. It could also be due to the fact that I paid 15 euros (!!!) for an extra large gelato which we couldn't finish. I did not expect it to be so ex until the cashier informed me of the price when they hand the gelato to me. WTF, though it was really good but I wouldn't want to pay for this price for a gelato lor! Somemore could not even finish up. -_-"

Felt most disappointed in Rome. Deemed Rome is too overrated and this is a city we enjoyed least. It was crowded with people, there were so many tourists everywhere we go and the service crews were not as polite and friendly to Asians compared to other cities we went. We only been to Vatican City, Colosseum and a catacomb housing the bones of 400 monks in Rome. Guess we were feeling churches and museums overdose after going to Paris, Venice and Florence. Furthermore we are not Catholics nor Christians. Spent our time mostly in Piazza di Spagna and Via Veneto areas so Rome did not leave any deep impression. We did make a side trip to Ostia Antica to see the ruins of ancient Rome but my hub did not really appreciate it. He was asking me why did we go all the way there just to see broken stones and pillars...faintz

Anyway, here's some of the photos I took in this trip. Hope you will enjoy them as much as I do.

Chiong here straight after checking in at the hotel and so glad to get my dream bag finally

Posing before Arc De Triomphe

Street of Champ Elysees

Notre Dame Cathedral

Stained glass in Notre Dame Cathedral

View from Notre Dame tower

just another painting to me

Louvre Museum

Eiffel Tower

Eiffel Tower by nite

Sacre Coeur

Moulin Rouge

Montmartre area

View from Montparnasse Tower

Ingenious work of God of War

Venice thru my fisheye

Stopover for Burano

I love Burano!

Burano

Murano

Me in Pisa

Me in Florence

Famoous Ponte Vecchio bridge behind

Does it look like an ad =p

Vatican City

Pillars surrounding Vatican City

Posing with the pillars

Ostia Antica, Rome

Posing in front of Colosseum

A hungry man is an angry man

Trevi Fountain

Phew...that's all for now. I have uploaded the rest of them in my flickr as usual. Those who are interested, can visit my flickr to see more...

Ciao~

Weak

2010-02-02T21:09:00.002+08:00

Wondering what's wrong with me.

I suddenly ponder when my life will come to an end. Will I die earlier than the norm??

Fuck...Not sure why pessimism hit me out of sudden. Sigh...

What a bad start

2010-01-24T20:10:00.003+08:00

Damn, can't imagine this is happening to me....AGAIN!!!

I got the throat infection (ulcer) for the 3rd time! The first time happened in January 2007 and I was being hospitalized for a week in Mount E. It took me almost 3 months to recover. The second time was in January 2008 and it also took me 3 months to recover. I was super lucky that I escaped in 2009 but this infection haunted me once more in January 2010! WTF!

I need to take all these medicine for the next 1-2 weeks. *Faintz* Furthermore, the steriods are giving me nausea & giddiness feeling after taking it. Felt so sick like pregnant women. I guess I would still feel glad if that's really the case and not because of the side effects of the medicine! Nabei.

Hmm...wonder whether I was being put on a curse! My father told me this could be my bad karma and I got to suffer in this lifetime. In order to make myself feel better, I hope that I would have pay back all the bad karma in this lifetime and I would be blessed in my next life...

Sigh...gotta miss all those CNY goodies again.

I Got A Feeling ~ Europe! =P

2010-01-10T00:56:00.006+08:00

Sooo looking forward to March cos I have decided to visit Paris, Rome, Florence & Venice then! Yeah, I will be spending my 2nd birthday out of Singapore and it will be in Paris this time!!! (Spent my birthday in Nepal in 2009)

Hooked on spending my birthday overseas cos I have always been spending the day in depression mode previously. I just hate to accept the fact that I am one year older once again...sob sob. I know I won't feel this way if I were to spend my birthday in a foreign land since my mind would be too excited to explore the place and there's no room left for anything else.

Hmm...what makes me choose Paris & the 3 big cities of Italy, some may ask???
The main reason why I wanted to go Paris is Louvre Museum! I have always longed to visit Louvre even when I was a kid in Primary school. However, I completely forgotten how I got to know about this museum when I was so young then...

Picture of Louvre Museum

The reasons for choosing the 3 cities of Italy are for the Colosseum, ruins etc in Rome, to visit the birthplace of Renaissance, outlet shopping etc in Florence and who will actually missed Venice?? Furthermore, heard that Venice might be sinking in future so better visit while it's still there!

Haven't really done much research yet but I gotta start planning now. We would be going on our own again and as usual, I would be the one planning the itineraries but nonetheless, I enjoy the preparation and planning stages.

Sigh...would be at a confused mind again. On one hand counting down for the trip but on the other hand, don't want to age another year so soon...

01/01/10 - Brand New Year

2010-01-01T23:20:00.012+08:00

Die die wanna post an entry on the 1st day of the year even when I have nothing much to blabber. Haha.

Hmm...maybe I just start off with a New Year resolution heh?

My no.1 resolution of the year is to slim down (as usual)! I have put on a few more kilos during these 2 months! Guess the "credits" go to a number of Chong Qing hotpot steamboat & Kushinbos dinners in December. Oh ya, and a super expensive (S$300 per pax) gastronomic dept dinner at Zento! *Faintz*

See the evidence below which I took on New Year eve.
My no.2 resolution is to quit smoking (like real) haha...But I really really wish that I can be able to do it ONE day. Let's hope that the day come soon.

Eh...guess that's all for now since I know I would have a hard time trying to achieve the 2 resolutions above. Hence not to be too greedy. =p

Before I logoff, wish everyone have a Happy New Year 2010 & may this year be an even better year for everyone!

Huat ah!!!

All I want for Christmas is ....

2009-12-24T12:02:00.002+08:00

Merry X'mas & a Happy New Year 2010 to all!

打包

2009-12-06T17:13:00.009+08:00

时间是治潦伤痛的良药。经过了时间的洗礼，应该把每段已结束的人与物给“打包”起来。只有“打包”起上一段无迹而终的感情，才能找到你的下一站幸福。

突然有感而发，在我的 Iphone 写了这几段句子。哈哈，我想我应该是最近看戏看的太投入，中了<<下一站幸福>>和<<海派甜心>> 的毒吧。

也或许是圣诞节和新的一年又及将到来，心里难免又起了那种莫名的感触。发觉这几年时光飞逝，一年一年的过(老)去，但我还是停留在原地。

是时候整理心情, 前进了。我毕竟比好多人慢了好几步了！

在此，献上我最喜欢在圣诞时听的一首歌，听了10多年都没听腻哦。

丁噹 ~ 你為什麼說謊

2009-11-24T21:22:00.001+08:00

A recent song which I like

I ♥ Tokyo - Part 2 (final)

2009-11-03T15:33:00.026+08:00

As promised, here's the rest of the photos I have taken in Asakusa, Odaiba, Harajuku, Shibuya, Shinjuku & Ikebukuro. I have taken countless pics during this trip and it's impossible to load all of them here. For those who are interested, can visit my flickr to view them.

I supposed I enjoyed Shibuya the most. This is a place for trendspotters and there are pretty and trendy gals everywhere. Never ever thought that sitting back and relax in a cafe while people watching at the same time is so enjoyable...I can still hear Lisa Ono's songs lingering in my mind when I recalled that moment.

The famous big & red lantern of Sensoji shrine in Asakusa

Rows of sourvenir shops in Sensoji shrine

Many tourists here

Gals making their wishes

Wonder whether any of the wishes come true

Hope good luck will follow me from now...

Drinking the holy water

Ride to Odaiba

Rainbow bridge

Fuji TV Station

Walking to Palette Town

Ferris Wheel

Cigarette vending machine which I wonder how to use

So beautiful at nite

Solitude

Weirdo in the train

Harajuku Station

Meiji shrine

Telephone booth

Harajuku station from opposite

My favourite Tshirt brand!!! So glad to get 2 camera T that I loved so much!

Indecisive man

Hey men!

Trying to find our way from Harajuku to Shibuya

Hachiko!!! Finally saw the statue of Japan's most faithful dog. There's a very touching story about Hachiko which will bring tears to whoever that have a heart. Hachiko waited everyday outside Shibuya station for his owner who never returned from work as his owner died from stroke at work. Hachiko continued without fail for 10 years, waiting at the station every evening till morning and finally passed away at the station in 1935. The Japanese were all touched by his faithfulness & made a statue of him and placed it at the spot where he waited for his owner. *sob sob*

Shibuya, trendspotting place

Rare sight of the famous 4 way crossing in Shibuya

Shibuya 109 - a place where all the chio bus gathered

Pro Nihon photographer taking pics of babes outside Shibuya 109

Me in redscale

Happy gals

People in Shibuya

Me trying D3, so ex & heavy

Fallen in love with this Pentax red DSLR

I love RED!

Holgas

Ramen chef - his ramen is oishii ne!!!

Sorry about the blur photo, still haven't figure out how to take food photos yet =p

Cute waiter

Traffic crossing at Shinjuku

Shinjuku again

Ice-cream & Crepe shop

I was being "caught" by the 2 Ojisans for puffing at non-smoking area & they were very nice and friendly to offer me to throw my stick in their portable ash tray...Phew

Our favourite Ramen shop in Sunshine 60, Ikebukuro

Interior

Hello Kitty - but me not a fan

Waiting for the Airport Limo to send us to Narita Airport

Pretending to be filming a watch's ad =p

View from Airport Limo

Flight delayed & while waiting, I captured the beautiful sunset

Sayonara....

I ♥ Tokyo!!! - Part 1

2009-10-29T15:34:00.028+08:00

It has been a long time since I last updated my blog.
Finally decided to post an entry since I have something interesting (to me lah) to write finally...

My hub and I went Tokyo in mid-October. After this trip, we have fallen so much in love with Tokyo. I guess this is a country which I enjoyed throughly as I love their culture, food, people etc. Furthermore, I have satisfied my hunger in using my Nikon DSLR and a new len (18 - 105mm) which I bought around 2 months ago.

Oh yes, we even bumped into Mariah Carey at Narita airport. Too bad I didn't recognize her (since I am not OBESESSED with her =p) at first otherwise I would have taken a clearer shot of her. She was just queuing less than 5 metres away from me to get the passports stamped at the immigration counter, and there were only a few people when we were waiting for our turn. I only found out it's her until we got our luggage and proceed to the arrival hall as we saw so many fans, reporters and tv crews waiting for her. Shingzzz...

Okay cut the crap again and here's the photos...Hope you enjoy viewing them =)

Mariah Carey & her bodyguards

I couldn't recognise her because she looked much slimmer in real compared to TV

Birdeye view of Tokyo

Can't recall what is this called but it's damn oishii!!!

Bus in Ikebukuro

Ikebukuro station

Moving train

Welcome to Disneyland!

Disneyland resort

Going to Adventureland

Space Mountain is fun & thrilling!

Kawaii ne *puke* I know

Love the blue, blue sky

Viva la vivitar - took using Vivitar & Ektachrome

Mirage

Castle taken from below

Disneyland's trademark

Photographer's wannabe =p

Queens of Hearts' castle

Me & my favourite Disney character - Dumbo!

Donald Duck & kids

Me & a cow =P

Goofy's House

Grand Circuit

My turn to race soon

Took a shot with 'Mickey Mouse' before leaving Disneyland

Disneyland's station

Even rubbish bins in Disneyland looked so cute

Shinjuku

Saw Takuya Kimura's poster from far

Shinjuku's backstreets, with lots of eateries

Shinjuku street

Decided to settle our stomach at this ramen's shop. (Will post the handsome chef & waiter in Part 2 =p)

Kabukicho - Infamous red light district of Tokyo

Kabukicho is so happening at nite! ;P

Tokyo subway map

Waiting for train back to Ikebukuro

Nihon beers in 7-11

Bottles & Cans

That's all for Part 1, will be uploading some more photos soon...

Buddha's Wisdom - Love

2009-08-02T01:57:00.002+08:00

Read this passage somewhere and find it really meaningful so I decided to post it here and edited the perspective from man to woman. Hope my friends and those who are confused in love can be enlightened from the story.

A woman was having a conversation with Buddha in the middle of the night. Buddha was sitting down while the woman was standing.

Woman: O Buddha, I have a boyfriend of five years, but now I have fallen madly in love with a new man. I really don't know what to do.

Buddha: Are you sure that the man you're now madly in love with is the one you love most, and will be the very last man in your life?

Woman: Yes.

Buddha: Then initiate a break up so you can be with the new man!

Woman: But my current boyfriend is gentle, kind and love me wholeheartedly. If I initiate a break up, wouldn't it be quite cruel and unethical?

Buddha: In marriage and love, it will only be cruel and unethical if there is no love. You're now in love with another man and no longer your boyfriend, and a break up is the right thing to do.

Woman: But my boyfriend loves me very much, he really loves me very much.

Buddha: Then he is fortunate.

Woman: I'm going to leave him for another man, and this should cause him to be in misery. How can he be fortunate?

Buddha: Because he still possesses the love he has for you, whereas you have lost the love you have for him, because you have fallen for someone new. Accurately speaking, it is a blessing to possess and a misfortune to lose possession, therefore the one in misery is you.

Woman: But I'm leaving him for another man, he should be the one who has lost me and thus feel miserable.

Buddha: You're wrong. You're only an entity in his love life. When you, the entity, no longer exists, his true love will continue on to another entity. Because in his love life, he has never lost true love, therefore he is the one who should be blessed and you the one in pain.

Woman: He said he would love only me all his life and not a second woman.

Buddha: Have you not said something similar before?

Woman: I... I... I...

Buddha: Look at the three candles in the urn before you, the one that shines most brightly.

Woman: I don't know, they're all equally bright.

Buddha: These three candles can be likened to three men. One of them is the man you have fallen for. There are so many humans in existence, and there are more than hundreds of thousands of men. You can't even tell which is the brightest or point out which is the man you love now, yet why are you so sure the one you love now is that man, and even more so, how can you be so sure he will be the last man in your life?

Woman: I... I... I...

Buddha: Now put one candle close to you, and look closely which of the three candles are the brightest.

Woman: Of course it's the one right in front of me.

Buddha: Now put it back to where it was, and then look again and tell me which is the brightest.

Woman: I really cannot tell which is the brightest.

Buddha: Actually, the candle you brought before you is like the man whom you have fallen now. Love stems from the heart. While you love him, you feel that she is the brightest candle. When you put the candle back to where it was, once again you could not tell which was the brightest candle. This type of love is only a kind of greed that blinds you and looks beautiful and perfect on the surface, but in the end it's only an empty dream.

Woman: Oh! Now I know. You didn't really want me to leave my boyfriend, you merely wanted to enlighten me.

Buddha: I won't tell you if you've seen through me. Now, go.

Woman: Now I really know who I love - he is my boyfriend.

Buddha: AMTB, AMTB.

When one is alive, one can hardly escape from love. May all lovers in the world cherish the one beside them, steer clear of greed and illusions and create happiness with their special one.

Long outdated photos from Phuket

2009-08-02T00:56:00.024+08:00

Can't believe I really make it to SDF shelter!
All the taxi drivers did not know the way despite showing them the map and address which I've gotten prior to arrival in Phuket. Luckily I have the number of Amy, the senior vet of SDF and she managed to direct one of the taxi drivers to the shelter over the phone.

Upon reaching, I understood why so many drivers did not know where the place is located as it is really situated remotely. However, I was quite surprised to see SDF being run so well. There were whole lots of dogs kept in the shelter but I can see the volunteers and helpers there did a great job as the place looks clean and well runned. Some dogs even have their own compound where they have ample space to roam freely.

Some of the dogs look old, wounded, crippled etc but they were never being forsaken or despised by the people in SDF. Really touched!
I bought 2 packets of dog tidbits and they were distributed and eaten within 15 mins! Regretted buying too little...

Anyhow, cut the crap and here's some of the photos I took during this trip.

Peggy, my sponsored dog!

Peggy & Me

Saw a number of dogs with 3 legs, heard they were knocked down by vehicles :'(

Me & Senior Vet, Amy

Mother & kids, soooo cute!

Another compound

Sunset in Patong

Last Pic (too lazy to upload one by one =P) taken at Wat Chalong Temple with my favourite Elephants (statues)!

Thanks for viewing...

Phuket...I am coming!

2009-07-06T21:24:00.007+08:00

Yeah, another 9 more days to go and I will be enjoying myself in the most popular island of the Land of Smiles. However, realise the more I count down, the longer it seems. Sigh...

I am so looking forward to be there as I will have a chance to meet up the dog - Peggy which I sponsored in Soi Dog Foundation, a non-profit charitable organization run by volunteers (from different countries) to provide shelter and improve the living condition of streets dogs in Phuket.

I have been sponsoring another dog called Princess since 2006 but from the recent updates, they have lost track of Princess as she's not a resident in SDF shelter. Princess used to stay around Patong beach area but she can't be found already. I seriously hope she'll be taken care of by some kind souls instead of meeting any mishaps.

I only started to sponsor Peggy recently and since I have the intention of going to Phuket all these while, I decided to go ahead without much thoughts since I can enjoy the sun and the beach and also pay Peggy a visit. =)

Here's a picture of Peggy! Isn't she sweet?

Sharing one quote I love from SDF - "All things tremble before violence. All fear death. All love life. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?" ~ Lord Buddha

Destiny

2009-07-05T02:29:00.004+08:00

I always believe destiny plays an important factor in every relationship, be it man and woman kind of relationship, working relationship, family or friendship etc. Without destiny between the people around us, we would never have chance to know or talk to each other.

Talking about this subject, my mind wanders off and begins to visualize ropes that bind people having some sorts of destiny up but the ropes are invisible to the human eyes. On top of that, I visualize ropes of different thicknesses. Some ropes are thin and vulnerable and would not undergo much wear and tear. Hence, explain the short-lived relationship between some people we once knew…When the rope breaks, the people it binds would never have a chance to meet each other again. This is it. Whereas some ropes are thick and solid and though there were times when there were thunders and storms, the rope still stand strong. Inevitably, this explains the existing relationship we still have with certain people around us…

I like to think this hypothesis is true. There is no point tying the rope back after it broke off since the rope will be shorter than before and thus never the same anymore…Learning to let go is an art which should be master by everyone. Saying is easy, I know! =p

Anyhow, this shall be labeled as Jessy’s law of destiny from now on.

Bloody Moody

2009-04-23T16:32:00.004+08:00

A sense of "moodiness" rose within me some time ago and I realised it has gradually evolved into something bigger today.
Felt quite low and in a state of 'not in the mood for anything' kind of mood.
Damn ironical, one friend of mine recently told me online there's a lot of things going on in his life and hence, he's not in the mood for anything.
Not very sure about the details as we haven't got a chance to catch up yet and he would only elaborate more when we are meeting up. Hmmm...I am deducing if it's not work or money matters that's bothering him, it must be relationship matters...Otherwise, what else can make someone moody???
But oh snap! I am feeling damn moody over NOTHING right now!
Wondering if that's because I have been sick for days or anything else.
Deem anything is possible these days...duh

Facade of the Past - Nepal

2009-04-07T11:16:00.047+08:00

Finally fulfilled my dream to travel to Nepal in March. Yeah!
The reason why I longed to go Nepal so much was mainly by the influence of Enigma - Eyes of Truth's music video which I saw from TV many years ago. This music video filmed the beautiful landscape, the himalayas, the elephants and the people of Nepal. What captivated me most was the grand and mysterious Boudanath Stupa towards the end of the music video and after watching the entire video, I told myself I definitely need to pay a visit to Nepal in my lifetime.

However, I heard that the situations in Nepal were quite bad due to the Maoists uprising etc since late 90s and hence, trip kept delaying. Unable to elaborate more on their politics as that's beyond my understanding, but at least I read that it was not as bad as before so I decided to carry out my plan. I rely on surfing webs and Lonely Planet Nepal to plan for our trip and btw this small handy book is really effective and provided me some foresights before reaching the country.

After visiting this picturesque country, felt that there is a huge contrast in terms of living standards and culture comparing to Singapore. We had the painful experiences of power cut during our trip. In case you are not aware, they only have electricity for about 8 hours a day (But omg, there's 24 hours a day!!) During this trip, I got to realize electricity plays a very important part in everyday lives. Without electricity, there would be blackout and no hot water for bathing, no blended coffee nor pizza or toasted bread, no heater/cooler, no internet to surf in hotels etc. Among all, blackout and no hot water for bathing would fall under my least tolerance level.

I experienced a blackout while I was taking photos alone in the compound of Hotel Country Villa in Nagarkot. My heart was skipping when all the lights were off when I least expected it. I was at the 2nd floor balcony while my hub was resting at 3rd floor lobby. I felt like a blind person as Hotel Country Villa was a hilltop resort, standing at 2000 metres above ground so you can imagine when the whole hotel goes blackout, you won't be able to see a single shit in front of you. I was wondering how to make my way up to 3rd floor lobby and luckily after standing still for awhile, I saw someone with a torchlight and immediately follow behind him since he's making his way up too. Phew...-_-"

Anyway, here's some of the photos taken by my Nikon D40. Hope you enjoy them...

Pashupatinath Shrine known to be the holiest Hindu temple in Nepal along Bagmati River, a holy river to the Hindus

Sadhu (Holy man) sitting around Pashupatinath Shrine

More Sadhus at Pashupatinath

The cutest Sadhus of all as he's grumbling when I requested him for 2nd shoot but once I positioned the cam and he's all set, ready with his smile and pose. =p

Boudanath Stupa, my dream destination

And my dream came true owing to the law of attraction =D

Familiar buddhist chants can be heard everywhere around Boudanath, purifying the entire atmosphere and minds

Unusual quiet scene of Thamel, 7am on the bus to Pokhara

It was too windy and unsafe for boating so we have to wait at the other side of the shore

Met these group of kids that requested for chocolates and sweets

Boats at Phewa Lake

Patan Durbar Square, one of UNESCO World Heritage Site

Took my own photo at Hotel Country Villa in Nagarkot

Scenic spot in Nagarkot led by the Security Guard

Bhaktapur City, another ancient city famous for its wood carving and also another UNESCO World Heritage Site

Realize I do like kids...Haha especially these 3!! They were soooo CUTE and till today, I still remember and miss them.

I have taken too many photos in Nepal so it's impossible for me to upload every photos up here. For those who's interested to see more, you can go to my flickr to view them. For those already in my Facebook and Multiply can just view the albums which I uploaded but tho Flickr is more complete.

After this Nepal trip, wondering where should be my next expedition?? Initially, I planned of going New York in July to visit my ex-colleague but decided to postpone till next year since 2009 is a great year for investing since most stocks are down! Better save my bullets up for better use! $$Money rules$$ Haha!

Nepal, Here I Come!

2009-03-03T17:31:00.006+08:00

I realised I have not updated my blog for nearly 2 months after logging into Blogger minutes ago!!!

Getting lazier and lazier these days...Haha
Actually I suppose I have no inspirations to write anything recently. Sidetracking, I am really fascinated by those full time bloggers who have so much stuff to write everyday or every other day...

What should I write today?? Hmm... NEPAL!!!

I finally kickstart my plan to my dream destination (Yeah!) and furthermore spending my big 30 birthday there. Have been wanting to visit this place ever since watching the music video - The Eyes of Truth by Enigma aeons ago.

Thinking of going via tour initially but it seems forever for the travel agency to reach the "minimum to go" number. Also, I supppose I won't be able to take my own sweet time taking photos at certain spots if I follow the tour so I make up my mind to arrange everything by myself and backpack there with my hub!!!

Hence, busy contacting various hotels in Kathmandu, Pokhara and Nagarkot recently and liaising with the tour operators in Kathmandu to arrange domestic flights and bus ride to and fro Kathmandu and Pokhara. Also, busy working out itineraries and reading the book - Lonely Planet Nepal before I went to bed at night.

Pray that everything will be smooth while we are there since Nepal is politically not so safe country and I heard their bus rides are ...*choy*

Tell myself not to be bothered too much since everything happen for a reason. We will just enjoy every moments there and that would be sufficient.

New songs from May Day's latest album

2009-01-08T10:17:00.003+08:00

First entry of the year 2009...What should I post??? Hmm......
Nothing significant that's worth writing recently.

Since nothing to write, I shall cut the crap and just recommend 2 new songs from May Day's latest album - 突然好想你 & 你不是真正的快乐.

My buddy, Mich, told me when she heard the song "突然好想你" by May Day, she thought of me...Don't be mistaken, she doesn't miss me that much but only find the song lyrics related to me...Haha
Yeah, this song is indeed touching especially listening to it while in nostalgia.

突然好想你

As for the other song, 你不是真正的快乐, I happened to hear it online and like it a lot too. In fact, I think this song is specially written for me...(think I am inheriting one of my friends' thickskinned...just bear with it =p)

Anyway, enjoy...

你不是真正的快乐

Meaningful Phrase

2008-12-28T16:26:00.008+08:00

Chanced upon this phrase ~ The worst feeling isn't being lonely. It's being forgotten by someone whom you can never forget.

Hmm...this is so well said...

So coincidence, I have posted an entry the day before on the worst feeling in life is to live life with regrets. Now I think both are equally worst! Haha.

遗憾

2008-12-26T09:33:00.009+08:00

Hmm...wonder whether my entry posted last night brought back my memories or after completing the famous HK TV drama - 溏心风暴. I think it should be both. The last few episodes of this show touch on "遗憾" ~ regrets.

After the show, I started to ponder whether I have any regrets in my life and while thinking, I started to write the X'mas entry. Before I can think of anything, I felt damn tired after writing that entry so I shut down my PC and go to bed.

I woke up this morning with a weird dream and the dream made me realize what my regrets is...I managed to fulfill my regrets in my dream cos I finally got the chance to sit down with 'someone' and relate my real thoughts that were kept beneath me years back. I know this can never happen in real life again hence the "遗憾" that's bottling me till now...I think the worst thing in life is to live life with regrets. This is even worser than living in anguish, sadness etc.

Btw I am wondering whether there's a better word to represent "遗憾" rather than regrets. All the online dictionaries are giving me regrets for "遗憾". However, I am thinking regrets are more like "后悔" in which you did something wrong and you are remorseful about it whereas "遗憾" is more like something you badly want to accomplish but never will you get the chance to do it for the rest of your life...

X'mas, just another day

2008-12-25T22:14:00.008+08:00

5th Christmas has passed and New Year is arriving in a few days. Time really flies.(Oops, realised I love to use this phrase) And once again, I was reminded I am reaching thirty soon...

As time passes, X'mas is just another day to me as I don't celebrate X'mas and not a fan of this kinda festive season. I only enjoy the day akin enjoying other holidays because I do not need to go to work. Ahem.

Wonder whether I am reaching my mid life crisis. Went to Pump brewery at Clarke Quay last night with my colleagues for X'mas countdown and realized I do not appreciate going parties as much as before. Perhaps I am getting old and find it meaningless to spend that few hours in a dark room filled with people. What makes it worse is nearly puking out my gastric after reaching home and suffer head spinning while lying in bed for sometime before I can reach slumberland.

I realise I would enjoy watching a movie or relaxing somewhere with my close ones more than partying now. Guess I am really getting old...........sigh

My Wish

2008-11-25T14:49:00.003+08:00

An idea striked me recently...Travelling to Kathmandu (in Nepal) during my next year's big 30 birthday. Thinking of going there alone, all by myself since I have never travel alone in my entire life except for a biz trip from KL back to SG (hmm...is that considered one??) Anyway, hard to find another person who wanna go there as much as I do.

Hope I can make my dream come true either on my 30th birthday or anytime within next year. Before my wish can come true, I hope the global economy will recover soon otherwise I doubt I have the extra $$$ (lesser or no bonuses?!?) to achieve my dream...sigh

Nice & Touching Old Song

2008-11-07T09:20:00.003+08:00

This song lingered in my mind while taking the train to work today.
Anyway this is a rather old song but which touches my heart...

Trust

2008-10-19T00:01:00.002+08:00

I notice it's getting harder and harder to trust a person completely as we aged.
I wonder how some people can do it. Are they trying to make themselves feel better living in self-deceiving/denial mode?
Summon up this phrase which I wrote in my diary years ago, "Once trust is broken, it takes years or forever to get it repaired..."
Inevitably, I still agree with this phrase till today.
Hope that no one will take their trust away from me or vice versa.

Jay Chou's new song - 失落非主流/说好的幸福呢

2008-10-16T09:16:00.008+08:00

Recommending this song from Jay Chou's latest album. This is a very sad break up song but I really like this song. Have been listening and listening non-stop for the past 2 days.

Jay Chou portrayed his emotions fairly well in this piece. I can feel his emotions of anticipation at the beginning of this song but as the song gradually approaches the chorus and towards the end, his emotions exploded into feelings of frustration and reluctance, like a little boy...Hmm...dunno whether I think too much...haha

Anyway here's the lyrics:

你的绘画凌乱着.
在这个时刻.
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.
甜蜜散乱了.
情绪莫名的拉扯.
我还爱你呐.
伴你断断续续唱着歌.
假装没事了.
时间过了走了.
爱情面临选择.
你冷了却了我哭了.
一开始的不快乐.
你用卡片拭写着.
有些爱只给到这真的痛了.
怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.
要怎么停呢
你的绘画凌乱着.
在这个时刻.
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.
甜蜜散乱了.
情绪莫名的拉扯.
我还爱你呐.
伴你断断续续唱着歌.
假装没事了.
时间过了走了.
爱情面临选择.
你冷了却了我哭了.
一开始的不快乐.
你用卡片拭写着.
有些爱只给到这真的痛了.
怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.
要怎么停呐
怎麽了.
你累了.
说好的.
幸福呐.
我懂了.
不说了.
爱淡了.
梦淹了.
我都还记得.
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.
要怎么停呐

...

2008-09-28T00:06:00.004+08:00

I suddenly thought whether I am someone who's not suited to be with anyone and should just live my life in aloneness...

Bad customer service is designed to doom!

2008-09-20T14:52:00.009+08:00

Encountered a super bad experience in Zeng Fu Cai Steamboat at Shaw Tower yesterday. I have been their regular customer for awhile as I always love steamboat and since it's located in the central and my ex-colleagues are working near that area, we would frequent the place if there's a gathering. However, due to their bad service and attitude that we encounted yesterday, I swear to the sky I won't ever patronise the place anymore in future! Their inflexibilities and attitude are the worst I have seen so far in the food industry! Hmm...maybe because it's run by MIC.

The story goes...I booked a table for 5 at 8pm yesterday. As my 3 other ex-colleagues would be slightly late, I met up with another ex-colleague, Rachel in Bugis first. Rachel and I proceeded to Shaw Tower and reached there at 8pm. We went in to get our table and upon sitting down, we decided to place our order since we 2 were damn hungry and having the thought by the time the other 3 arrived, the food will be ready for all.

However, a bespectacled MIC middle-aged waitress with thick eye makeup told us they cannot serve the food to us unless 4 out of 5 have arrived. We told her the rest of our friends would be arriving soon so we see no reason waiting for that 10 mins to order the food. She replied rudely they couldn't do that as that's their POLICY! If the 2 of us wanted to start first, we would have to move to another table for 2 and give up the current table we have booked. We were so pissed off and so we shoot her back what if our 3 friends arrive after we started eating, is she going to give us a table for 5 if another group occupied our table for 5??? Guess what, she went speechless for a few seconds and after that, went back to the same old stupid reason again - their POLICY.

Nabei, what the fuck. As Rachel and I are not someone that can be bullied, we refused to give in. We demanded to speak to her boss, a younger MIC woman who love to dress sexy but in fact is far from that. From far, this fucking bitch gave me a "What's up?" look, so I used my hand signal to tell her to come over. To my surprise, as the owner of the steamboat restaurant, she just shook her head and walked to another table, ignoring me and Rachel. The bespectacled waitress walked back and told us her boss was not free to speak to us and she would be her boss' representative. However, before we came to a conclusion, this waitress just walked away leaving Rachel and I dumbfounded. Bad service, bad attitude and inflexibilities were displayed right in our eyes of this small shop. We started to realise why the service of the staff were so bad as the owner did not even set an example for her staff!

There was no queue at that moment and I wonder what damage would it take to serve the food to us first. We figure out they are totally inflexible in dealing with situations and they do not bother about customers' service. I suppose the owner and staff are not LOCALS and they thought Singaporeans will suffer in silence. HAHA, they are totally WRONG! There are so many steamboat restaurant around that area and we totally see no excuse to tolerate their service and attitude in which they suck! I started to wonder whether we Singaporeans have been mistaken all these while by foreigners for our poor customer service in the service industry. In fact, the main culprits were mostly non Singaporeans but from that part of Asia.

Anyhow, we decided to leave that place. Before leaving, I purposely turned my head and told the bespectacled waitress "WE ARE NOT EATING ANYMORE!" and walked out their door. KNS, she chased after us and we thought to expect an apology, but wtf, she asked us to pay for $2 for the 2 drinks which we have not yet taken a sip. Nabei, Rachel and I were boiling and we told her loudly we are not going to pay for the drinks since we have not taken a sip! Besides that, since they did not even want to serve us the food, why should we pay for the drinks?!? Wahaha, she asked us to come in as her boss wanted to talk to us...Heck! We told her loudly since her boss did not bother to speak to us awhile back, we see no need to speak to her NOW and we walked even further away, leaving her dumbfounded this time. Damn shiok!!!

We waited outside Shaw Tower for Bianca, Karen & Joyce. We realized after we stepped out, they arrived at that place. I immediately told Karen over the phone to come out of that place and meet us at the entrance of Shaw Tower. Haha, thanks to the stupidity, inflexibilities of the Management of this Zeng Fu Cai steamboat, they lost 5 customers forever. To think that I still brought them quite a number of new customers from the very first visit till now. Damn, I will never ever return to this place anymore as I am someone who is very particular about customer service. No matter how good their food is, I would not patronise if the service is bad. And in actual fact, I felt that their standards have dropped in the recent visits as the food is not so fresh anymore.

After we gathered, we decided to walk over to Tian Tian steamboat that’s just opposite the road. After reaching Tian Tian, we realised the difference between the two as Tian Tian's service was definitely much better although all the staff were so busy handling much BIGGER crowds, they still bothered to attend to our needs and find us a table. Maybe that explains why they have more crowds compared to the other one...I forsee the doom of that place to be near if they continue giving customers the same attitude.

Singaporeans, pls stand up to oppose bad services in Singapore!!!

Going Crazy

2008-09-10T11:22:00.002+08:00

I think I am going crazy soon due to the nonsenses around me. I realised it's hard to be appreciated by other people, no matter what you did...This applies everywhere, whether at work or off work. There's fuckers everywhere...Sometimes really wonder why there's a need to be nice to someone when you don't get appreciated as the days go by...

Super Pissed

2008-09-02T13:28:00.002+08:00

Encountered a super pissed incident yesterday.
After getting off the train at Bishan, I went for a walk in Junction 8 and saw the booths for mooncakes were set up.
As I was thinking of getting a box for my mum (and also try out free samples lah) so I went to one of the counters.
A young sales girl immediately approached me and asked me to try out their mooncake samples...

"Hi Miss, come try our mooncake, our mooncake are all very tasty and they are all HALAL..."

I whispered in my heart, what the fuck, so I ignored her and continue browsing at the mooncakes that were displayed at their booth.

This idiot girl still didn't get it and took a box of mooncake and flipped the box to the other side saying

"Hi Miss, our mooncakes are made by organic ingredients and SEE...here's the HALAL LOGO..."

Nabei, I couldn't take it anymore and replied loudly,

"MISS, I AM NOT A MALAY, OKAY???"

The people surrounding us all turned to look at me...Damn, without tasting any mooncake samples, I walked off hastily...

It has been a long time since people misunderstood me as a Malay. Guess I have been going for swims for the past few Saturdays and here's the outcome!

I went home and told my mum about it and my mum laughed and said I indeed look like Malay now...TL, I dun wanna look like any other races except my own race cos I am a 100% pure Chinese!!

Gonna get a Nikon DSLR SOON

2008-08-23T17:15:00.005+08:00

I have been looking for a Nikon DSLR camera recently and did quite a lot of research on Nikon DSLR cameras. (I wanna get Nikon DSLR cos after using both Canon and Nikon digital cams, I prefer Nikon more) My colleague who is very into photography recommended me getting the D40 kit for a start since I am new to DSLR and D40 suits beginners like me. Moreover, the price of D40 definitely stays within my budget! =)

Even though I really really love to get it so much, I still struggle for some time as we would never know when we need a sum of money for rainy days. However, my desire of owning it empowers all today, so I finally made up my mind to go ahead with the buy. But TMD, the rain keeps pouring since morning and I hate to drive while raining cos I am not a very good driver. Still contemplating whether to drive out to buy the cam or stay at home...

Anyway, here's the picture of the DSLR I am going to own SOON \(*v*)/:

So I think I can dance?

2008-08-13T20:47:00.004+08:00

Busy with my life recently so no time to update this blog. Sometimes I wonder why there are only 24 hours a day when we need to be stuck in the small cubicle of our office for 8-9 hours & spent our time sleeping for another 6-7 hours? Damn, life's short, told myself to stop getting wasted as the clock is ticking every second and soon, I will reach the dreadful ugly thirty.

Anyway, I am quite happy I finally signed up another dance routine around 1 month ago with my buddy Jas. Learning exotic dance this time =p and so far, I have been enjoying all the lessons. The lessons are pretty interesting as we gals are encouraged to shed off our inhibitions while doing the moves and make learning even more fun. Also, the classes emphasize on hips movement and grooving the body (which are the basics to every dances), so I think they are extremely useful for future advances and in the hope to loosen up my stiff bones.

Still procrastinating whether to sign up Salsa again. I have only completed Level 1 Salsa at 2 Left Feet and stopped ever since April. I have forgotten most of the steps except for the basic steps 123 567. Hahaha. Actually, I find Salsa rather interesting too, it is really different from other dances I learned as it requires coordination between 2 individuals and seems 'sophisticated' if you are able to master it well. I think it's quite a pity to stop halfway (actually should say quarterway) but I am rather lazy to go to the classes alone and not sure whether I am able to commit some more days for lessons. One of my friends has proposed to learn together with me before but my eye was badly unwell so I hold off to it. Now that I start the exotic dance classes & there are still 6 more lessons, let's see how it goes...

My First Cross-Processed Slides

2008-08-01T16:24:00.005+08:00

Finally sent my 1st roll of slide film - Fujichrome Velvia 100F for processing and scanning. Have collected my cd rom from the uncle from Triple D at Burlington Square 2 days ago and I have uploaded some of my "works" in a new blog, Entangle Angles, set up solely to upload the photos taken using the lomo cam.

Feel free to browse through them =)

Lomography ~ My New Love

2008-07-22T22:17:00.006+08:00

Fallen in love with lomography recently after seeing the works of many lomographers. Have been surfing for info over the net on this art every now and then (even when I am at work...Oops!) I can say I am totally addicted before I actually begin.

Can't wait to receive the lomo cam and a few different types of slide films (positives) which I ordered online on Sunday. The seller told me she would send the package to me via registered mail today so hopefully, my new toy shall reach me either earliest tomorrow or Thursday. Then I can start lomo-ing le! Woohoo!!!

I would definitely load my works up (provided they can make it lah)...

Damn anticipated.

Emptiness

2008-07-17T11:35:00.003+08:00

How many of us have actually found our soulmates? (By the way, soulmates do not necessary mean the one you have feelings with, soulmates can be your friends too.)
I feel that one of the hardest things in this world is to be able to find a soulmate whom you can connect with, intellectually and emotionally.

Ultimately, every individual is different, having our own thoughts, feelings and experiences which is hard for another party to understand fully. Although you have your family and quite a number of friends, sometimes you just can't seem to find anyone to relate your thoughts to when you suddenly feel like having some intelligent conversations.

I guess it is rather hard to find another individual who is of similar wavelength, frequency etc as you, hence feelings and thoughts would have to be kept bottled within yourself. This is when emptiness slowly creep in...It arises when you are unable to express your thoughts out to someone who knows.

I believe most of us will bound to experience emptiness in different segments of our lives and it's up to each individual to deal with this when it's here. For me when I started to feel emptiness arising, I will try to feed myself with books, books and more books, in the hope of filling up the space within my brain so it won't be empty anymore...Haha.
How about you?

不可思议

2008-07-14T08:45:00.001+08:00

这是我第一次用华语来写我的博客，如有不明白的句子，请多多见谅。我之所以用中文字是因为我担心会让这篇文中的主角们读到我对这件事的感言，而我能100%肯定他们是不可能会中文的。\(*u*)/

星期六凌晨，我被一位同事的女友(来自欧洲)吓了一跳。当我们在pub外抽烟时，她竟然告诉我她其实是双性恋者，而且她发现她已喜欢上我！我与她见过和出去几次，但我从来没有感觉她是这一类。我一听便有种晕旋的感觉，可能是喝了太多，又受到她给我的这个惊吓。我在半梦半醒之间问她是否是在开玩笑，她神色凝重的回答我，她是认真的。我马上告诉她我是100%“直”的，我从没有对我的同性有一思一毫的感觉，所以这是不可能的！她非但不死心，还式着说服我。她问我即然我没式过，我又知道我会不喜欢同性？我坚持我的力场，一再声明是不可能的，慢慢她是乎接受了，便跟我说其实她是跟我开玩笑的，看我吓成这样子。。。过后为了免去尴尬，我也告诉她我要回家了，她便自己回去pub跟我们其他的朋友会合。

我在德士上一直在想这事，因为我还是感觉她刚刚不象是在开玩笑。(除非她的演技一极棒) 我越想，越觉的好恶心。我能理解同性恋者的心态，但我就是不能理解双性恋者的想法。虽然她已解释这是个玩笑，但我的女性第六感给我另一种不好的感觉。

我在星期六傍晚须要去我同事的烤肉会，所以又见到了她。我的同事与她一见到我，就告诉我昨夜真的是开我的玩笑。我同事说他女友过后有把整件事告诉了他，他们还笑了很久，因为她能感觉我真的被吓着了！真不知要相信他们的话吗，他们不象是在说谎，可是我还是相信我的直觉多一点。。。嗨。。。

Sadness

2008-07-11T00:50:00.003+08:00

Feeling sad now...

I started to realise one sentence in one of the blog entries that I posted is true.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

Nobody's perfect in this world. How hard is it to see this point???
Really damn tired physically and mentally (till I dunno how to carry on writing this entry...)

Nitez!

Turn Back The Clock

2008-07-05T13:01:00.012+08:00

I wish that I could turn back the clock, bring the wheels of time to a stop.
Back to the days, when life was so much better~~

Does it bring nostalgia at these 2 lines of lyrics from the song by Johnny Hate Jazz?

I met up with 2 of my buddies last night and we went to Le Meridian hotel lounge for our usual chat after dinner. As our conversations built up, a question suddenly popped up in my head so I brought it up to them as I was quite curious to know their answers.

I begin, "If you have the ability to turn back the clock and bring the wheels of time to whichever age you wanted, hence restarting your life from there again, (the question comes) which age would you choose?"

My 2 buddies began to get into thoughts. After awhile, EL told us if she has this power, she would probably choose to return to the age of 20...MC and I laughed upon hearing as we know the reason why. As for MC, she said she seriously doesn't have any age in her mind and asked me back the same question I imposed to them.

Without much thoughts, I told them my answer. If I really have this power, I would rewind time back to age 16. Both laughed too as they knew what was in my mind and the reason behind was similar to EL's. I suppose there would be drastic differences but hard to envision whether for the better or worse...Hmm...

Anyway, told myself this is just another wild conjecture in my head and no need to get serious about...Haha...Period

Miserable Life

2008-07-01T15:44:00.001+08:00

I am fxxking bored in the office cos my boss is on leave for 3 long weeks and the damn msn server in New York office happened to go down at this time!
Hence login to blogger to start an entry of my miserable life.
Going to see the eye specialist after work later and tomorrow morning as I suppose the eye inflammation or infection (whatever) is back again!
My right eye is painful, swollen and red again and my face looks si bei shack. sob..
I think I am going mad and enter the state of devastation and depression...When I thought my eye has recovered 95% last week, wonder what caused it to flare up again yesterday...
This is indeed a recurring nightmare which haunted me after I did my lasik.
Because of this, I forgo a lot of activities and miss out a lot of things since then.
And also, dun really feel like socialising and meeting frens cos dun wanna let them see me in this ugly state...
SIGH............when can I get a life???

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

2008-06-28T19:06:00.008+08:00

Have a dream last nite which affected my mood & left an impact in me. I was surprised why I still have this kinda dream after so long when everything changes. I went into thoughts whether I have ever let go certain things or just hid it beneath me all along and subsequently, it manifested in my dream sub-consiously.

I realised how I wish this dream is real when I woke up but too bad, it isn't...Dreams are just dreams. They only seem real while you are asleep and once you have awaken, they would just vanished like bubbles in the air, short lived and gone without a trace.

Hmm...wonder whom I know actually ever dream a little dream of me...

Damn O' Pics

2008-06-21T12:25:00.007+08:00

My dad managed to transfer the data from my old & dead cpu recently to another unit. Since I have some time this morning, I went thru the data that was transferred and retrieved quite a lot of albums taken during the past few years. Randomly selected one or two pics from each of my favourite albums and made into a slide show below.

WTF, time's really flies. Those were the days when my buddies and I were so young and flesh! Can't imagine how a chiobu (ahem) can transform into an obasan within 3-4 years time...NO NO NO!!! Still find it hard to believe, but still, fact is right in my eyes! I have nobody else to blame except myself. Hence told myself to buck up and get the sparks back again! (Hmm...but saying is easy =p)

You'll Be My Love

2008-06-12T23:01:00.006+08:00

Recently fell in love with this 'oldie'. The lyrics and the tune is so touching! I think I'll melt if someone sings me this song. (provided I am still single lah!)
Haha enjoy...

Lyrics:

My love, till you are near
I long for your touch
you are the only one, with you
I know I’ll find love that I need
Love for a lifetime
So please, please believe it’s true
Our love will see us through
For one heart shared by two
We’ll always stand, now and forever
Through the sun, and all through the rain
And for all time
You’ll always be my love

So please, please believe it’s true
Our love will see us through
For one heart shared by two
We’ll always stand, now and forever
Through the sun, and all through the rain
For all time
You’ll always be my love
Through the sun, and all through the rain
You’ll always be my love
All through the rain
For all time
You’ll always be... you'll be my love

Unfairness

2008-06-07T13:04:00.009+08:00

Life's so unfair...

Why do some need to go through different kinds of pain and illness throughout their life while majority remain healthy generally?
Why do some enjoy happy relationship while some are trapped in unhappiness & emptiness for years?
Why do some who would always have someone by their side while going for op or post-op checks while some always have to go on their own?
Why do some experienced smooth procedure after lasik while some encounter infection that keeps recurring? And guess what, this is me!

Just been to SNEC for 2nd opinion with Dr Chua again this morning as I have been experiencing eye irritation since yesterday. After checking on my eye ball, he told me gravely the viral infection seems to have recurred and it penetrates deeper into my cornea. He called up a cornea specialist in to provide another opinion for my case and after checking, the cornea specialist agreed with Dr Chua's investigation.
The cornea specialist told me he will prescribe some steroids eye drops and some antibiotic drops this time and hopefully, my right eye will be able to heal soon.

Damn it, I went to LSC for my review by my lasik surgeon on Thursday evening and he still can tell me my eye is going along the right direction. Also as usual, he told me to be patient and not to worry so much as different individuals have different length of healing process. I asked whether I require any eye drops and he said it's not required as he's seeing fine under the scope.

I feedback this to both doctors in SNEC and they smirked when I told them. They told me based on their seeing under the scope, my sight will definitely be affected if I don't undergo special medication as the infection will cause the scarring to be permanent in the cornea thus, affecting my vision in the near future.

Can't believe the integrity of my own lasik surgeon and to think he's a renowned lasik specialist in SG! Although LSC offer FOC on all my post reviews till my eye recovers completely, I think I rather don't waste my transportation and time travelling down and continue with the consultation in SNEC, though I have to pay the price for consultation each time and it's not cheap...Sigh

The Mind of a Broken Heart

2008-06-02T22:41:00.005+08:00

Nice read from somewhere hence posted here to share.

Throughout our lives we are all bound to experience a variety of relationships.
The toughest thing most of us will learn is that those first few relationships don’t generally work out, and you’re bound to experience a little heart break.
As much as these experiences are dreadfully painful, I believe they are essential for us to correctly understand ourselves, and why we do the things we do. When relationships head for the worst, people go through a collection of emotions - from rage to frustration to acceptance and finally to understanding. You must repeat
these phases of emotion as necessary until you realize that life is going to be different now. The fear of change, feelings of loneliness, obsession, and infatuation, all make being “free” a scary thing.

I have been in many different kinds of relationships in my life, be it a casual fling, a close friendship, or a soul evoked love - they all follow the same rules. A relationship has to be cared for and, much like a plant without water, a relationship will wither and die if not nurtured correctly. Depending on your match, a dash of understanding, a pinch of smiles, a tablespoon of your undivided attention might be all you need to make a successful relationship…

Love comes at the most unexpected time, and follows no rules. Just when you think you’ve figured out the manual on love, it changes languages, is reversed, and grows another two hundred pages. Realizing that the beast cannot be tamed is the first lesson; the second is to learn how to ride it and move with its flow. Live life and never take it for granted. Keeping things fresh and exciting in your relationship will ensure a healthy and happy existence with your partner, or friend. As Confucius once said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance”.

Love is indeed an interesting thing. After examining my own thoughts, turmoil and pain, and after talking to many friends and associates that have gone through the journey of lost love, I have come to realize that most of us only truly appreciate and understand love when it is no longer there. As if even though you know you cared for this person a great deal while you were with them, when it ends you almost feel it more. When the relationship is no longer there, your body craves it like an intense drug, as if life without it no longer has any meaning.

When love ends, thunder strikes, the ground shakes and your heart feels black. The sun seems grey, the sky an off color, and the world a very unfriendly, lonely place. You no longer see the good in the world, and people all take on the same shape- clones and drones continuing the monotonous chores we have to subject ourselves to in order to survive. Often you find yourself reminiscing about the past memories that were happiest, not concentrating on the bad parts of the relationship, and therefore making it seem more perfect then it really was. You try to omprehend “Why, why, why did it ever end?!?”. Obviously there were some things that went wrong in the contract, or it would still be going. You know now why it ended, and are most likely willing to change and adapt to make things right, but sometimes it’s just too late. It’s time to accept the situation and move on, because you don’t yet know all the things that are awaiting you.

I believe that amazing things often occur long before their own time, and if they are truly meant to be, they may happen again later in life. There are countless stories of grandma and grandpa hooking up in their late 70's after being high
school sweethearts at the age of 17. They have both been married twice, had children, careers and now through some odd twist of fate they are here together once again. After hearing those stories, I decided to never give up on love, and I realized that even though you think you’ve climbed your Everest of love, you won’t know until later if it was just a foothill compared to the next experience.

In closing, I say to you: get off the couch, breath once again and live! For that is why we’re here - to experience, to understand and learn more about the world around us. There will be more loves in your life, some big, some small, and you will be happy again someday. So never give up your faith in love or in yourself, for it will be ok. I promise.

(Author unknown)

New Job

2008-05-31T12:12:00.005+08:00

Haven't got a chance to update my new job here as have been tied up with other stuff lately.
Here I am writing this entry on my new job...
There's only one word to describe and it's "FANTASTIC"!
I love my new office, location, seat, view, working hours and most of all, I think my boss is a really nice guy like what my ex-boss had mentioned to me before I left.
I remember I was still quite nervous when I took the risk to tender my resignation in the previous place where everything's great. To my surprise, I still can find another place where it's even better! (Career luck is with me these years, at least...unlike the luck with my health. Haiz, I guess it's fair as you can't expect everything in life to be smooth...)
Anyhow, I hope I did not say all these too early as life's unpredictable but at least I'm satisfied at this moment. I just have to leave it for time to tell...

Indecent Proposal

2008-05-27T22:37:00.002+08:00

Received an indecent proposal recently from a friend whom I knew for a few years. Actually, I wouldn't bother so much or felt the astonishment if this comes from other people...But HIM??? OMG, what has this world turn into? This friend is "someone's" buddy cum my buddy's ex!

All the while, we were always in a buddy kinda relationship. Our conversations were mainly on my buddy, who's also his ex. Out of sudden, he popped a damn ridiculuous question ie. an indecent proposal (which I don't even feel comfortable to write the content here) to me recently and I've got a shock of my life.

Wahaha, really can't imagine this kinda thing can happen at all, especially from HIM.
Our paths have never met before and there is absolutely 0 possibility they would ever meet in this life and I really wonder how he gathered the proposal in the first place? Told him straight in his face this is impossible and he can jolly give up unless he wants to continue wasting his time.

OMG...felt like laughing whenever I thought about it. Still remembered the time we four went for dinner/drinks together and both of us would never get a chance to sit beside or opposite each other. Our seats would always be adjacent and thus, when he tries all these now, I felt it's so comical and ironical...

Anyway, hope he won't be reading this blog...Otherwise, can't imagine the outcome! Haha...

Regrets

2008-05-25T19:39:00.010+08:00

I believe everyone have their own regrets in life.
Recently, I regretted something which I have done and it is............LASIK!
I did not really consider the post-lasik complications and go for the op without any serious thoughts. Now that I kena an infection on my right eye and I supposed I deserved it...My right eye swelled until like a ping pong last Friday and it hurts like hell! My vision is also affected due to this and I am walking around half blinded since Friday.

Look at my infected right eye *SHY* Damn ugly pic of me

Luckily, I booked for an appointment with SNEC eye specialist on Saturday and the doctor told me he suspected I have gotten a viral infection in my eye. He said due to the infection, it causes some scars to form right in the middle of my cornea and thus, lead to poor vision and blurriness.

I was really very worried that I would go blind and the doctor assured me normally this kind of scenario won't go to that extreme but my right eye probably would not see as good as my left eye due to the scarring (if they can't be cleared after the infection) He prescribed me an oilment and asked me to apply 5 times a day and I think the swell did go down slightly today.

Thankfully, I decided to pay more $ for a 2nd opinion in SNEC and not to go back to the lasik surgeon who operated on me from Lasik Surgery Clinic. When I went to LSC during my 3rd and 4th review, I told my lasik surgeon about the blurriness in my right eye and asked whether is it an infection. He kept insisting it's nothing serious and my eye probably got irritated by dust. And furthermore, I realised the clinic assistant in LSC gave me the wrong instructions when I called them to complain about my swollen and painful eye on Friday. I totally lost trust in them and regretted why I did not choose SNEC for lasik initially just because LSC (located in Paragon) is more accessible from my place.

My mood is really affected due to this recently. I realised I don't even have the appetite to eat anything and this rarely happens since I am such a glutton pig. To me, eyes are the most important assets as I can't imagine losing the ability to see all the beautiful sights of this world in future...I am praying hard every nights for a miracle to happen on the next morning when I can see crystal clear with BOTH eyes...

P/S: I suppose I am a mutant potential as my body is so prone to infections...Counting in this eye infection, I have gotten 3 different infections in this 2 years and the 3 different infections manifested from top to bottom of my body...Why is my life so miserable??? SOB...

Emotions

2008-05-21T23:18:00.005+08:00

Sometimes can't help but wonder whether we humans like to treat people/things for granted as the years go by. We are so used to show out our fiery tempers especially to our closest ones because we are not afraid to let go of our real emotions in front of them. However, before doing these actions, have we ever ponder whether the day will come when your closest ones could not take it anymore??

As the time goes by, we would realise neither one is right nor wrong. It's just a matter of the differences in our characteristics...
"没有谁对谁错，只是性格不合"

How sad this phrase is...I wish I will never hear this phrase in my life.

Realisation From The Recent Tragedies

2008-05-18T00:12:00.006+08:00

After the two recent tragedies of China and Myanmar, I came to realise life of human beings are really so fragile. An earthquake or a cyclone can hit the town without any warning and obliterate million of the nation.

Felt that this earth where we belong is becoming more and more unsafe to live in. We can hear news of calamities happening in some parts of the world from time to time.
I sometimes ponder whether humans would be immune to all these tragedies one fine day???

Hmm...Looking at the recent efforts from different nations offering relief to the Sichuan people and how some associations fought hard to aid the people suffering from the aftermath of Cyclone Nargis (despite the refusal for foreign aid by Myanmar military government), I believe LOVE is still around in this small planet of ours. Remember the phrase, "Love is what makes the world goes round..."

I believe with this love, the affected nations would then be able to find the strength to carry on living with their lives although their loved ones depart to another place before them...

AMTB

Limits

2008-05-17T01:03:00.005+08:00

I really wonder how far one's limits can be stretched...
Different people would have different tolerance limits.
Assumed if I am a rubber band, I would be a super firm & thick band which can withstand the pull to the very max and would not break for a long period of time.
However, no matter how firm & thick a rubber band is, it will eventually snapped one day due to the tests of time. This piece just happened to be firmer & stronger than the rest in the packet, hence able to withstand the pull for a longer time.

Hmm...But I can sense it's snapping soon..............(Hope I am wrong)

伍家辉虽然我愿意

2008-05-10T01:24:00.002+08:00

The lyrics:

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

Recently heard this song over the tube a couple of times and I like it alot. Hence, I decided to create a post solely for this song. The lyrics are so sad & touching and tend to give a solitary mood especially when you listen to this song alone at night.

Have been trying to search for the mp3 format of this song but to no avail. Would appreciate any kind souls to update me the link if you happened to find it. Hehe.

May Updates

2008-05-07T11:26:00.006+08:00

My official last day with SCB ended yesterday. Felt a sense of sadness (again) as the working ties between myself & the really nice bosses and colleagues ended officially. Have visited all my direct & indirect bosses last week and I was really touched by them. All wished me good luck in my new role and even told me if I ever feel like returning to SCB, don't hestitate to look for them. Felt that I am so fortunate to know all these high level yet nice folks. Will really miss them all...

Having said all the past matters, I gotta be prepared for the present. I am going to start my new job at DB tomorrow. I assumed my new role will not be as relaxed & slacked as compared to my role in SCB. But what to do?? This is the path I have chosen and I definitely need to adjust myself back to the demanding & fastpaced environment again.

Sort of anticipate the new challenge as I felt I have been too relaxed for 1.5 years & wasting my precious time. (hitting the big 3 next year...sob) However, I still felt quite sian having the thought of starting my new job tomorrow. Those who know me well will know I am such a "NUA"(slacked) person. Wahaha...And also alot of questions popping in my head - Will my new boss likes me? Will I get along with all my team mates? Will I be able to handle all my new boss' requests? And most importantly, will I be able to get to the workplace at 8.30am everyday?? etc etc.

Besides worrying about the new job, I guess this month's gonna be hectic as my hub just hired a maid who's arriving in 2 weeks time. There's quite some stuff to do prior to her arrival and I hope I won't need to spend too much time teaching her all the household chores when she's here and furthermore, I am not a good teacher...Wahaha.

Last week of notice

2008-04-25T23:14:00.006+08:00

Time is ticking fast, especially when you are serving your one month notice with your company...

Felt some sadness when I realised I have only one more week left in SCB. I guess I can't bear to leave my really nice bosses and colleagues, especially those of them whom came from DB to SCB. We have started our working relationship in DB and our bonding continued to the next level in SCB.

However, I tried to console myself everyone has to move on with their own lives someday and hence, don't regret once I have decided to take a step before them. Furthermore, I am joining back DB (1st tier investment bank!) where I still have a lots of nice ex-colleagues who are still there - although I won't be working in the same dept as them. (Trying to psycho myself but honestly, don't really work...sigh)

I just hope I can stay longer in my coming role...Haha, otherwise I would really be deemed as a job hopper as I never stayed in a job for more than 3 years!

Finally done with Lasik

2008-04-08T23:07:00.007+08:00

Did lasik at Lasik Surgery Clinic in Paragon Medical Centre on Saturday morning. Today is considered the 4th day, yeah! I finally can stop wearing the awful eye masks (in the pic below) to bed. Damn ugly, right? This pic was taken on the 1st day after the surgery and I look damn shack!

I am still counting to one week as I was told I can't put on any eye makeup for a week after the lasik surgery to prevent infection. Oh gosh, I hate that as I can't go out without my eye liner else I look like I am half asleep!! However, I have no choice as I do not wish anything bad to happen to my eyes so to play it safe, I have to abide to the rules...Sian, have to let all my colleagues see my shack face for 5 days... =(

Mixed Feelings

2008-04-03T20:47:00.005+08:00

Felt a sense of different emotions gushing to my head and my heart now.
There are feelings of excitement, satisfaction, sadness and disruption happening all at the same time. Excitement and satisfaction flowed to my head while sadness and disruption flowed to my heart.

I have always been an emotional person and always let my heart ruled my decisions. My hub always taught me not to be emotional. After some lessons learnt, the weight in my head is stronger than the weight in my heart thus I decide to go with the feelings in my head.

Initially I thought I would not feel much sadness as I have gotten what I aimed for. However, when humans are going to lose something, we would then start to see the good and forget about the bad. Tho' you expect it, but there's still a level of impact which is hard to imagine. Guess most of us would experience the same thing before ya?

Hope that I have made the right choice and won't regret it.

Quote my favourite line "Nothing is permanent in this world except changes" to make myself feel better.

Aquaintances Aren't Coincidences

2008-03-21T11:21:00.011+08:00

Recently I came across a chapter of a novel written by this author 张小娴 and felt really related to it. Hence, I would translate it to English here.

Life's full of coincidences. Aren't there a lot of coincidences in movies & novels? The male and female lead aquainted coincidentally either by being neighbours, colleagues or even loggerheads. When the male lead did something wrong and intend to apologise to the female lead, the female lead coincidentally missed the opportunity to hear his apologies and mistaken him ever since. After several years break up, both coincidentally encountered on the streets. Even when both walked past each other without realising who the other person is, it's still another coincidence!

Have you ever have this experience when you just thought of a friend and he/she suddenly called you on your phone? Within time and space of our mass world, is it a pure coincidence or whether it's something that's harder to explain, eg. mental telepathy or karma - 因果 (destiny)???

When a man and a woman coincidently got aquainted, reunited etc, it might not be purely coincidence; it probably could be due to their telepathy with one another or their destiny that ruled over. When you saw someone and heard of his/her name years ago and both of you starts to fall in love a few years later, would you choose to believe it's a coincidence? Or rather you would choose to believe on the very day you heard of his/her name, it's already a cause (因) and several years later, it became an effect (果)??

When there's a cause, there's always an effect. (有因,就有果)

You used to dislike someone to the core, but after searching around for many years, you landed with this person unexpectedly and fall so deeply in love with him/her. You laughed and joked it's a retribution. This isn't retribution but mental telepathy.

There won't be so many coincidences in this world. When you still bumped into your ex-lover on the streets after breaking up for years, it's because you have never forgotten or let go of him/her and same goes vice versa. Both won the battle between time and space and met each other again.

If you never bumped into him/her anymore, that's because he/she has forgotten and let go of you...

Okay, I am lame...

2008-03-17T23:01:00.006+08:00

Guess what's this??
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???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???
???

The white patch is a cotton bud attached to my belly button, which was one of the 3 spots that was cut and stitched back during the surgery. But only this spot gotten "or qi" (black green...eh but my colour seems black red =p) and dun you all think the shape of the "or qi" looks so unique?? It seems like a 2 that's twirls around my belly button and I was telling my frens (after showing them this pic) that I got an idea for my next tatt and it's gonna be something similar like this pic...Hehehe, since I like the number 2 and my birth date is 20th with a 2 too!

OMG, am I lame or mad liao??

Surgery finally over!

2008-03-10T00:53:00.007+08:00

Yeah, finally went through the surgery that has been pending with my gynae in Gleneagles for months last Friday. I felt a bit nervous when I was pushed into the threatre. I was not so much concerned with the pain since I would be put under GA (General Anaesthesia). I was more concerned with the result after the surgery. After a few hours of unconsciousness, I felt myself slowly awake. However, I felt really damn weak as I couldn't even utter a word out and I could feel my lower abdomen bloated with gas and hence, feeling sore and pain from the 3 wounds around that area. Luckily, the room that I was admitted was real comfy and allowed me to have ample sound sleep.

Ward 916

My gynae came and visited me in the late evening and told me the findings after the surgery. All I felt like repeating here was I am not so "enthu" about it. I just hope I will see the "daylight" soon, like the picture of the sunrise that I captured using my hp from the ward...

Another thing on my mind was I felt so paiseh to my boss as I was already on block leave for the past 2 weeks and I need to continue with a week of medical leave now...At first, I thought of returning to work on Monday but I guess I was too naive! I still have difficulty in walking due to the 3 wounds and their stitches can only be removed this coming Friday. Thus, irregardless of my "paisehness", I die die gotta take a week of MC. Haiz...

Outdated Entry - Trip to China 23 to 29 Feb 2008

2008-03-10T00:09:00.006+08:00

Have been telling myself to write a blog on my trip to China since the day I came back from the trip but dunno why getting lazier and lazier these days. Thus, this has been an outdated entry. Actually I did not really look forward to this trip so much initially as I was quite worried over my darlings - Ginny & Jucie since this was the first time they were left to the care of my bro. Also, I gotta leave my Boy at Mitchville K-9 Kennel for a week since my bro won't be able (and wouldn't wamt) to handle him. Luckily, all's well ended well!

Lesson learnt about this entire trip is that Singaporeans are really so much fortunate than the people living in China. When I heard how much they earned, I really pity them and felt guilty of being never satisfied over my salary. Also, I felt the urge of becoming a vegetarian stronger as I really pitied those small animals eg. chickens, ducks & gooses etc when I saw them walking around in the villages as I know they would eventually be slaughtered someday to be served as food on the table. I know some people would think I am crazy since they would be thinking animals are borned to be eaten by humans. But why this disparity since they are also a part of the beings in this small world we are living in?? If we can eat chickens, ducks etc, we can also eat all other animals like horses, giraffes, foxes, wolves etc or even humans since humans are considered high intelligence 'animals'...

Hmm...think I better zipped my mouth since I have not been converted to a true vegetarian yet. Just hope 'eventually' the day will come for me...

Bridal Shoots

2008-02-19T10:59:00.015+08:00

Haha, finally got it over and done with the bridal shoots with my hub yesterday. All I can say it was indeed a tiring experience which I predicted but overall, I still find it quite fun & enjoying as this is not something couples would do often...or I should say, it would NORMALLY be done once in a lifetime.

To begin, I have a total of 6 different looks + gowns comprising 1 indoor and 1 outdoor bridal gown, 2 night gowns, 1 victorian costume & 1 kua. Of all, I love the indoor bridal gown and 1 of the night gown best. As for the outdoor look, I did not really like the way my hair was set cos I felt it looked abit outdated. However, I was too tired to feedback to the make-up artist since this was the last look. Luckily, I think the skills of my photographer was good as he managed to capture some really nice outdoor scenery and so, it's not so bad afterall. (Hope I won't have a hard time selecting the pics and won't let the bridal shop's staff influence me in picking more pics as more pics = more $$$!)

The outdoor shoot was done at Punggol lalang field and Punggol beach. Initially we still thought of going to Tanjong Pagar area to take the night shoots of those antique shophouses but we were too shack to make it there and call off for a day at around 7pm since we have taken enough pics for the whole day.

Before I go, here's a sneak preview of 2 of my favourite gowns taken using my n95:

My indoor bridal gown

My favourite night gown

My First Salsa Lesson

2008-02-14T23:01:00.003+08:00

After procrastinating for a long time, my buddy and I finally decided to sign up for the Salsa beginner's level at one of the dance studios in Central West. After a long wait, we finally made it for our first lesson yesterday evening. The class we attended was pretty big, around 20 over students from all walks of life. And our instructors were 3 pretty ladies who were very humorous and friendly thus made the lesson very fun and enjoyable.

Since it's the first lesson yesterday, we only learned the basic footworks - simple steps, simple turn and also to count on 123(4 pause) 567(8 pause). Ermm...all I can say is so far so good (maybe it's just stepping and turning at this stage yet) and comparing to learning Hip Hop and Street Jazz etc, I think it's easier.

Cos I have been learning Hip Hop, Jazz, MTV dance since Sep 2007 but don't really think I have made much progress so far since the studio I went concentrated more on choreography instead of techniques. However, I still enjoyed learning these type of dances as I feel so refreshed after every lesson and during the lesson, I completely forget everything and just concentrate on the moves.

Hope that I would love salsa as much as loving these modern dances and the most important of all, not to become Jack of all trades & master of none! Oops!

My First Louis Vuitton Bag!

2008-02-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

I was flabbergasted today when my hub told me to head to the Louis Vuitton outlet at Ngee Ann City after our international buffet lunch at Carousel in Royal Plaza On Scotts as he wanna buy me a LV bag for this Chinese New Year. I was like "Huh? U sure anot??" And his reply was "Sure, of cos!"

Hmm...guess he must be sick of my constant blabber on LV bags recently (dunno why fall in love with LV lately when I used to reckon LV are for aunties) and in order for me to stop rattling everyday, he might as well shut my mouth with the real thing...Hehehe...I realised women's 'never ending' ramblings are still effective at times!

But actually, I don't really intend to get LV bag in Singapore as it is more ex than France or Spain and I got some friends/colleagues who would likely go there soon. However, I know my hub's character. When he decided to get something, he would get it on the spot so as to save my breath, I happily headed there with him.

I have a really hard time choosing the bag I want. Seems like those models I set my eyes upon were either out of stock or too ex! After trying tons of bags, I decided to pick the brown damier Saleya PM. I was contemplating for a long time whether to take the MM or PM as the price difference is only $180 and furthermore MM is much bigger.

My hub gave me his opinions and said the PM is classier to carry and the size is just right to clutch it like the Speedy's range whereas the MM seems too big and he can visualise me going to the market with it. *roll eyes* Hence, I decided to heed his advice and take the PM in the end since I always believe he has good sense. We left the boutique with a total damage of $1530.

Felt quite paiseh for him to spend so much today, err...I think I will get him a Montblanc pen when I get my bonus (dunno when!?!) since I heard him mentioning his Montblanc pen is not working well...

Oh ya, before I stop for today, wish everyone a Happy & Prosperous Rat Year!

Absence Makes the Heart Grows Fonder or Out of Sight, Out of Mind?

2008-01-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

I wonder how long will it take to forget a person or an incident completely. 3 months, 2 years, 5 years or forever?? Sometimes when you thought you have finally gotten over it, it appears otherwise when reality sinks in.

Shouldn't have accidentally stumble upon a page of someone whom I have not met for years today. Actually "someone" was already out of my mind for years but when my eyes laid onto the photo, some memories came gushing in.

I have ever ponder whether the saying is true for "Absence makes the heart grows fonder" or the saying "Out of sight, Out of mind"? Seems now it proves the latter to me. Nonetheless, I still prefer the first phrase as it gives a romantic aura unlike the latter which seems abit unfeeling...
Hmm but strange I am not really a sucker for romance heh...

Could Anything Be Worser?

2008-01-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

Went to see my throat specialist in Mount E again this morning before going to work due to the unbearable pain that's torturing me since Monday night. After the usual routine, Dr feedback my condition is still very bad & he would prescribe antibiotics and double dosage of steroids again.

Dr told me the steroids might cause side effect and this side effect is something which I dread the most - GAIN WEIGHT!!! Nabei, I am trying so hard to lose weight for my bridal shoots in February and yet, due to an illness, instead of losing weight and I would likely gain more weight! #$^&%@!! Could anything be worser than this??

Hmm...Now then I know why despite having poor appetite (as I felt a knife stabbing my throat the moment I swallow a bite or even my saliva!) and went for my dance lessons for some time, I still did not shake off my stubborn fats! Haiz...

Oops, back to the clinic, Dr suggested me to visit the Immunologist on the other floor since there could be some problems with my body since I am so prone to infections. What other choices do I have? Headed to the Immunologist's office straightafter and the nurse drew out 5-6 tubes of my blood for testing. Felt abit weak after seeing my blood filling up the tubes like nobody's business and my mind wonders to food again since I have not taken my breakfast. Sigh...how to lose weight like this??? Argh...

My Bad Start In 2008

2008-01-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

Can't believe the throat infection that haunted me for a few months & landed me in hospital in early 2007 returns again! I really felt like dying when I suffered from this last year and I told myself I would never ever wanna have the same experience again when I recovered in April 2007. Never would I expect I contracted this back in the last few days of 2007 again, when I have the belief 2008 would be a much better year for me.

I went to my specialist in Mount E on Wednesday and he told me the condition this time is as serious as the last. He told me I have to be on antibiotics again (I made a count on the antibiotics I have taken in 2007 and allegedly summed up to the antibiotics I have taken in the past 27 years of my life, omg!), be extremely careful in my diet and most importantly, I gotta quit smoking! Sigh...what else can I do? He also mentioned he suspected some problem with my body since I am so prone to this but he can't tell it yet. WTF.

The worst is yet to come. I am actually scheduled for a surgery by another specialist in Gleneagles (for another health problem of mine...haiz) on 7 Jan but due to this throat infection, I gotta postponed the surgery as advised by my throat specialist to avoid complications. He said during the surgery, the surgeon will have to insert a tube down my throat to allow normal breathing while under general anaesthesia, and since I have this very bad infection at my throat, it will definitely aggravate my throat's condition. Side tracking...I have learnt a new thing here cos I only could recall I was given a mask to inhale the gas in the past surgery under general anaesthesia and I would just snooze off after a few seconds. I didn't know they actually need to insert a tube down the throat. To make matter worse, if the infection flows into my blood during the surgical procedure, my whole body would be infected! Hmm...makes me wonder would I be like the mutants in "I am legend" if that happens?? CHOY!!!!!

All I can do now is wait...I just hope I can recover asap and hope this won't drag as long as last year. Due to this throat infection, I did not slim down but yet put on more weight as I have been feeding myself with sweets and 'liang teh' which are damn fattening so as to soothe the burning throat! Furthermore, I hope to complete the other surgery asap as I still got a few things in my list eg my bridal shoots, my dance lessons, my trip to China in Feb etc. Also, not so sure when my 3 other new bosses are joining the firm, so better settle everything before they start. Otherwise there's a chance they would label me as a MC Queen or On leave Queen which I don't wanna forsee it from happening, for goodness sake.

The Aftertaste of "I Am Legend"...

2007-12-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

Went to watch one of my favorite Hollywood actor – Will Smith’s latest blockbuster “I Am Legend” on X’mas day. Felt a little disappointed after getting out of the cinema as I felt it doesn’t live up to all its hype before it was released. I have great expectations for this “horror” flick as I always enjoy Smith’s films and especially this time featuring with my favorite breed of all dogs – a german shepherd. The movie was kinda slow in the first half hour and as I gradually started to appreciate the suspense and thrill, it slows down the very next moment.

Nonetheless, I think Smith lived up to his name as he has done a great job in his role as the last man on earth, carrying the entire film on his shoulders and I especially love all the bits and pieces in it when he’s with Sam the adorable K9 that added much sparks and attraction to this movie. Nearly cried at the scene where he has to strangle his infected Sam; Smith indeed has displayed his emotions very well that you would feel damn touched by his love for his dog. (I am also an avid dog lover so I can truly understand the pain he’s going through…)

Felt that the way the director filmed this movie left me an aftertaste that’s not very pleasant. The whole movie is way too doleful and somber to catch on a X’mas day. I would probably enjoy the movie more on other days when I want to experience the mood of loneliness. Sometimes to me, solitude is a kind of beauty too...but hey, I am not talking about the kind of solitude that Robert Neville is facing in I Am Legend, of course!

Stronger

2007-12-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

This song - Stronger by Kanye West keeps lingering in my mind recently. There's 2 lines of the lyrics that caught my attention:

N-n-now Th-that don't
kill me
Can only make me
stronger

I guess I must be super STRONG since I have not been killed so far. Phew! -_-"

I suddenly ponder on this subject - Is Men or Women stronger? I agreed men are physically stronger than women (except for some ah guas lah). In spite of this, I think it does not insinuate they are psychlogically stronger too.

My 'expertise' comes from the people I have seen dealing with situations. Through a few women I know for years, they undoubtedly displayed their psychlogically stronger attributes more than their men in their relationships...So proud of them.

Instead of retelling the stories of the "century" fights between men and women, (as the stories can go on for another thousand and one nights), I'd just put a stop here for I don't want and don't have the intention to be labelled as a MAN-HATER.

Ooh reminds me of the song MAN-EATER by Nelly Furtado and it has effortlessly replaces Stronger which was lingered in my mind earlier...

Doppelgangers

2007-12-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

Does anyone of you believe in doppelgangers (German: doppel = double; gangers = walkers – meaning a ghostly double of a living person that would haunt its fleshy counterpart) exist in this world?

Not long ago, I watched a HK movie – Anna and Anna and it’s exactly about the story of doppelgangers. What’s more, I have been following up the episodes of a re-aired serial -迷离夜 on Channel 8 during that period every Monday to Wednesday night. Before the episode starts, you would hear the first verse of the song playing “在世界的另一个角落，是否有另一个我…” (In another part of this world, is there another ‘Me’…) Sounds déjà vu? I guess most of the 70s and early 80s kids would probably be able to hymn the music of the theme song although this is an old, old drama filmed in the 80s.

Besides movie and drama, there are also a few stories on this phenomenon. One of the famous stories would be Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde written more than a century ago. This also lead me to recall a classic gothic novel titled ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ written by Oscar Wilde in 1891 which someone strongly recommended to me 2-3 years ago. Although the tale is not really about doppelgangers, there are still some elements indirectly linked to it.

Nevertheless, stories are just stories so I went googling, hoping to find some recorded facts on doppelgangers and indeed, there were a few real life events related to this.
Interested parties can read up from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelg%C3%A4nger

I really find it so amazing and unbelievable as it seems every strange thing can happen in this small planet of ours…It’s just a matter whether or not we have the direct encounters to these occurrences or heard from others. Some people say “seeing is believing”, they would only believe in the truth if they see with their own eyes but this old school of thought do not apply to me. There are a lot of things in this world which we do not see with our eyes but do not mean they do not exist.

However, I rather I don’t get to meet my doppelganger as long as I live. I cannot even stand it when a guy friend of mine called me up recently and cheekily tell me he found my lookalike in one of those networking websites and asked me to check with my mum whether I have a younger sister whom I am not aware of. (?!?) He forwarded the pics of that gal to me and gosh, I hate to admit we do have some similarity. The only big difference is our ages as she’s only 21 and I am…hmmm…haha a FEW more years older. Nonetheless, I feel I am prettier than her because she’s much more fleshy than me (I already consider myself quite fat liao hor) but this irritating guy friend of mine said otherwise and tell me he’s not the only one to say that! WTF!!! @#$%#^@

Okay, okay, cool down…I would just tell myself guys are just shallow and only have eyes for big boobs…Whoever boobs’ bigger, whoever win. I am sure I am better in other aspects, forgoing the boobs’ part… -_-“

The Twelve Nights

2007-12-03T02:56:00.000+08:00

Saw the below chinese version somewhere & I decided to translate to English as I find this passage meaningful as it stereotyped the phases of most relationship.

The First Night
Love is like a disease; the sooner you get over it, the better.
Befriended loneliness.
From that moment on, seem to drift further apart from you, the thought of you become blur, memories appear to fade due to the distance between us and do not seem so sweet as before.
Thus, I need to forget you completely, use the cool raindrops to wash away the remnants of our love.
After the rain stops, the light of destiny will definitely be much brighter.

The Second Night
Only people in love believe they were destined to meet.
Everything comes so quick, so sudden and so coincidence.
Deem how each other met is unavoidable, due to the right time, at the right place and with the right person, hence this is what they called destiny.
Falling in love is understandable.

The Third Night
Beware of people in love, for they are all insane.
When a man and woman falls in love, they will do all sorts of ridiculous acts
They would call each other more than ten times a day, only to hear each other’s voice.
Their souls would wander to each other’s side during work.
How audaciousness, just because they have one good reason – they are in loved.

The Fourth Night
Sweet as honey!
Being in love is so sweet, both can give their all whatever it takes.
Being young is cool, both can flaunt their youth without any reservation.
Always do things impetuously and cause the people around to love and hate them
Always bellow out loud to the world they are the most fortunate people.
However…these two “Always” would not remain unchanged.

The Fifth Night
Men’s dignities are all over his woman’s other men
When a man told you he does not mind your past, you can say he’s lying.
Everytime when you mention your ex, although he is telling you it’s nothing, but in fact he’s feeling uncomfortable deep in his heart.
Your past in his eyes would forever be a thorn that is pierced onto his “dignity”.

The Sixth Night
Women’s dignities are all about their faces.
Woman and man are different.
When woman feel unhappy, the expressions will be reflected on her face.
Also, the dignity of a woman does not allow you to praise another woman beautiful, otherwise man will get it from her.

The Seventh Night
Do you know me well?!
After sometime of togetherness, all the good and bad surfaced and both know each other inside out.
The novelty in the past has departed, flaws slowly emerge and the grumblings increased.

The Eight Night
You are happy, therefore I should be??
Although the novelty is gone, but the relationship still remain, each bearing the thought “You are happy, therefore I should be…”
When you like someone, you will tend to put all your happiness on him, thus you can’t lose him because once you lose him, happiness would be gone.
Happiness brought by physical materials are just bubbles, hence, is that really happiness?

The Nine Night
Say good-bye!
Being in love is easier than staying together, who said so?
Can’t remember and no clue to ponder upon, but this is absolutely true.
No matter how you try to communicate, the problems still exist because it is impossible to live without desires, thus unable to be together forever.
The craze which begins at first will slowly fade away as the days go by and both parties would be tired of the quarrels.
Maybe at the corner where love has forgotten, there are many other beautiful and brighter things that would arouse thy heart.
Thus, chose to say good-bye.

The Tenth Night
I miss you!
After break up, both started to recollect the sweet memories which they shared together,“Should I give each other a chance to start anew?”
Later, man and woman are back together.
Humans…are always indecisive.

The Eleven Night
To be or not to be?!
Things that can be reached within your limit will never give you the frantic hope and desire.
Although got back together, you started to ask yourself repeatedly, “Do I really love him?”
Love is a sense of feeling, if you feel there is no more love, that’s it.
This is the same when the string of a kite has broke off while you are flying it and alas…the kite will never return to you again.
Everyone wishes the feeling of love can sink deep into their heart undoubtedly.
However the emotional feeling of love is just like a kite that’s flying in the sky, crisis ridden all the time.
Only you will know, the feeling is no longer here…

The Twelve Night
The End…
In the end, they still broke up…

True love is hard to find??
Yet it does not seem that hard at times, sometimes it’s so easily obtained, but only because humans are greedy and always hope to possess more thus giving up an ordinary and plain love.
“Destiny” is the beginning, “once had” is the journey, “eternally” is the end, this kind of love is complete but not necessary perfect.
This is why everyone is striving so hard to seek the perfect love that they perceived, again and again repeating the story of twelve nights…

A Woman Should...

2007-11-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing.

A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

(Author unknown)

Wahaha, it's really tough being a woman!!

Buddha's Wisdom (On Same Sex Love)

2007-11-25T01:59:00.000+08:00

心向佛，便有了佛。有了佛，便能与他对话。
我是个虔诚的人，问佛：" 请告诉我可以同性相爱吗？"
佛语："为什么不可以？"
我问："但世人不认为这样啊。"
佛语："世人？"
我疑惑了："是啊！怎么了"
"那是世人根本很多都不知道真爱罢。"佛答。
"真的吗？"
佛语："是啊，我给你说个事实吧。"
" 好的。"
"曾经有一位向佛的王子，但他禁不住情欲的诱惑，放不下感情的包裹，因为有一个很爱很爱他的女孩。"佛说，
"有一天，他来到我面前问我该怎么做，我问他那个女子是不是真的很爱他，他说是的，很爱很爱，不管发生什么事都一样爱。"
"然后呢？"我问。
"然后？没有然后了。"佛叹了一口气。
"为什么？为什么没有然后？"我不信。
"然后，王子就彻底归依释门了啊。"佛看着我，说道。
"为什么？我不明白，不是有个很爱他的女孩吗？"
"爱？真的爱吗？那不是真爱啊，有多少世人懂得真爱啊？"佛语。
"为什么！！？"
"我告诉他，有一个方法可以证明女子对他的爱有多深，他去做了，结果，他很失望。"佛语。
"怎么做的？"我不解。
"用我的法力将他变成了一个女子。然后，爱他的女子见他已不再是以前那个英俊的王子，便含泪离开了他，而这
个王子，也从此大彻大悟，因为她爱的是他的人，而不是他的心。"佛语。
"我懂了。"我说。
"所以，真正的爱是不管对方是什么人都去爱的才叫真爱。"佛语，"只要有真爱，又有什么是不可以的呢？地位
，年龄，乃至性别，都不是重要的啊，重要的是真爱，爱他的人，更要爱他的心啊。
"你刚才说的王子是谁啊？"
"谁？"佛微微一笑，"现在世人都称他为观世音。"

What Is Love All About?

2007-11-25T01:53:00.000+08:00

Young people ask me, "What is love all about?"

I don't know the answer myself, so I can only give the answer provided by Plato.

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?"

His teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk
forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the
most magnificent stalk, then you have found love."

Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands,
having picked nothing. His teacher asked, "Why did you not pick any
stalk?"

Plato answered, "Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not
turn back. I did find the most magnificent stalk, but did not know if
there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked
further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so
I did not pick any in the end. His teacher then said, "And that is
love."

On another day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is marriage? How can I find it?"

His teacher answered, "There is a thriving forest in front. Walk
forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find
the tallest tree, then you have found love."

Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with a tree. The
tree was not thriving, and it was not tall either. It was only an
ordinary tree. His teacher asked, "Why did you chop down such an
ordinary tree?"

Plato answered, "Because of my previous experience. I walked halfway
through the forest, but returned with empty hands. This time, I saw
this tree, and I felt that it was not bad, so I chopped it down and
brought it back.

I did not want to miss the opportunity." His teacher then said, "And
that is marriage."

(Author unknown)

Sometimes

2007-11-18T15:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be,
life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count...

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.

(Author unknown)

Many Lifetimes Ago

2007-11-18T15:04:00.001+08:00

Many lifetimes ago
We raced through the universe
Like two shooting stars
Without a home
Never burning out
Never growing old
Our love was strong.

We invented love
While playing on the rings of Saturn
We slept and gave warmth to one another
While hiding out on Pluto
We stopped by the sun for tea
Then moved on again
Our love was strong.

Then came the time to leave this infinite space
We wept and smiled
For we knew we'd meet again
When the time came, you moved ahead and I stayed behind
My reason for yielding was simple
I had to watch your miracle of life from above
My love was strong.

I was born on a warm Monday
Years passed by and I missed your company so deeply
I knew not who you were or where you slept
But knew you were there, always there
A lifetime of searching made me tired and weak
I knew nowhere else to look until you willed me back into your life
Your love was strong.

Tonight we rest our heads in slumber
Dreaming of a life of love, hope, laughter, and joy
Smiling at one another as we go
For tomorrow we meet again
To share one another in joyful bliss
As we sing and dance, hand in hand while the sun sets
Our love is strong.

Our love is strong.
And now we come together
Come together again to gain what is rightfully ours
We come together to gain the other half of our soul
So that it may once again become whole
Two bodies, one soul...so we can close our eyes
And travel the universe just like we did so many lifetimes ago.

by Jason Cain Rackley

Why Do Our Joys Depart

2007-11-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

Why do our joys depart?
For Cares to seize the heart?
I know not. Nature says.
Obey; and Man obeys.
I see, and know not why,
Thorn live and roses die.

by Walter Landor

The Farthest Distance In The World

2007-11-10T16:38:00.001+08:00

世界上最遥远的距离
不是生与死的距离
而是我站在你面前你不知道我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是我站在你面前你不知道我爱你
而是爱到痴迷却不能说我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是爱到痴迷却不能说我爱你
而是想你痛彻心扉却只能深埋心底

世界上最遥远的距离
不是想你痛彻心扉却只能深埋心底
而是彼此相爱却不能够在一起

世界上最遥远的距离
不是彼此相爱却不能够在一起
而是明知道真爱无敌却装作毫不在意

世界上最遥远的距离
不是树与树的距离
而是同根生长的树枝却无法在风中相依

世界上最遥远的距离
不是树枝无法相依
而是相互了望的星星却没有交汇的轨迹

世界上最遥远的距离
不是星星之间的轨迹
而是纵然轨迹交汇却在转瞬间无处寻觅

世界上最遥远的距离
不是瞬间便无处寻觅
而是尚未相遇便注定无法相聚

世界上最遥远的距离
是鱼与飞鸟的距离
一个在天一个却深潜海底

The farthest distance in the world is not the space between life and death, but that you don't know I love you while I am standing in front of you.

The farthest distance in the world is not that you don't know I love you while I am standing in front of you, but I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly.

The farthest distance in the world is not I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly, but I can only bury it in my heart despite the unbearable yearning.

The farthest distance in the world is not I can only bury it in my heart despite the unbearable yearning, but we cannot be together when we love each other.

The farthest distance in the world is not we cannot be together when we love each other, but we pretend caring nothing even we know love is unconquerable.

The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between two trees, but the branches cannot depend on each other in wind even they grow from the same root.

The farthest distance in the world is not the branches cannot depend on each other, but the two stars cannot meet even when they watch each other.

The farthest distance in the world is not the track between two stars, but nowhere to search in a tick after two tracks join.

The farthest distance in the world is not nowhere to search in a tick, but doomed not to be together before they meet.

The farthest distance in the world is the distance between fish and bird, one flies in the sky, but another hides in the sea.

All About Love

2007-11-10T16:37:00.000+08:00

4 persons in your life, how many have u found?

1st - yourself,

2nd - 1 u love most,

3rd - 1 who love u most,

4th - 1 you spend the rest of your life with.

Firstly u'll meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, u'll then know what it is u need most. Then u will find the person who is most suitable for u, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these 3 people are usually not the same person. The one u love most doesn't love you. The one who love u most, is never the one u love most. And the one u spend your life with, is never the one u love most or the one who love u most. He/she is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are u in other people's life? No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when he loves u, he/she really loves u. But when he/she doesn't love u anymore, he/she really doesn't love u anymore. When he/she loves u, he/she can't pretend that he/she doesn't. Same goes, when he/she loves u no more, there's no way he/she can pretend he/she loves u. When a person doesn't love u and wants to leave u, u must ask yourself if u still love him/her. If u also don't love him/her anymore, do not keep him/her just to save your pride. If u still love him/her, u should wish him/her happiness, and hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop him/her from it. If u stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she loves, it shows u already don't love him/her. And if u don't love him/her, what rights do u have to blame him/her for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive. If u like the moon, u can't just take it down and put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon u. In other words, when u love a person, u can use another method of possessing the person. Let him/her become a permanent memory in you life. If u really love a person, u must love him/her for what he/she is. Love him/her for his/her good points, and the bad. U can't wish for him/her to become like what u like him/her to be just because u love him/her. If he/she can't change to become what u like him/her to be, u don't love him/her anymore. When u really love a person, u cannot find a reason why u love him/her. U only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, u will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, u have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test. If the relationship isn't strong, then u can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate. When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover. These swear and promises are useless; Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for u will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry. Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then? Be careful when making promises, don't make promises that u cannot keep. Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember? Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!? In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another. The 1 saying, doesn't believe; the 1 listening, also doesn't believe.

(Author unknown)

As I Mature...

2007-11-10T16:34:00.002+08:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomitting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that no matter how hot or steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away...

(Author unknown)

Change

2007-11-10T16:34:00.001+08:00

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING IN YOUR LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE?

A tough question for some people. For others they don't even have to think about it they know exactly what the change is. So let's look at why it is tough for some and why for others it is easier.

Change is sometimes threatening to us. It takes away the "known". We may be the type of person who likes routine, it is our security, and "change" may upset our routine, our security. The saddest thing for me is watching those who don't want to change, they resist the change, they put up barriers to try and stop change.

Our world is constantly changing, has been for years and will continue in the years to come. Heraclitus was a Greek Philosopher and lived during 500 B.C.. He is quoted as saying, "There is nothing permanent except change." That was written many years ago and now here we are entering the millennium and change seems to be much faster today.

One of the major contributors to our faster pace change is technology. Take the Internet for example, look at the information available to us. Look at how fast we can access the information we need. I remember when I was doing research for university, (before I had access to the Internet). I would go to the library, look up reference books, locate the books and easily spend the day combing through the books looking for the specific information I needed. Today, I sign on to the Internet, do a search for the specific information I need and in seconds have tons of information. I can then go the sites and print the info I need. It has cut my time in half (if not more!), plus it has given me a much wider range of information. Many times when I used the library, I had to order a specific book I wanted and then wait a week or longer for the book to arrive. Using the Internet I have access to world wide information.

Technology is changing our lives in many different ways! Everything from faster more efficient ways of doing business to lowering the cost of goods by eliminating the middle man. It is eliminating some jobs, however, creating new opportunities.

Resisting change in your life wastes valuable energy. When people focus on stopping the change rather than being open and trying to understand the change they are missing opportunities. In every change there is a positive effect. At the time when the change occurs we sometimes cannot see the positive, but if we focus and really look for it is there. Resisting change can lead to job joss, to marriage break ups, to friendships lost, to financial challenges.

Just imagine what our world would be like if change did not occur. For others they don't even have to think about it, they know exactly the change they would make. For those who know the change you would make, my question to you is "what are you doing to make it happen."

Wishing for something will never make it happen. But setting goals and taking action will make your change happen. We have all heard the saying, "Some people go their grave with their music still in them." They have had a dream but never did anything to make that dream come true.

If you answered the question, "what would the one thing you would like to change", but have done nothing to change it, start to do something. Break down the change into steps, set time frames for yourself and start taking steps to make that change a reality. Don't let others change your life, be your own change agent and implement the changes you want!

And if an unexpected change occurs in your life, find the positive in it. Rather than wasting your energy and wasting your time, focus on the positive, in some cases search for the positive - there is opportunity in every change.

Let change be your friend!
A few further thoughts on change:
Once you decide to change, change occurs in you.
No action, no change
Limited action, limited change
Lots of action
Change occurs.

Imagine how boring life would be with no change, same music, same movies, same weather, etc. If you never change, how boring are you?

Change is...to give up what we are...to become what we could be.

by Catherine Pulsifer

Is It Possible To Find The Perfect One?

2007-11-10T16:32:00.000+08:00

I have translated the below article (that's posted in one of my friend's blog) to English as I find this article quite meaningful.

Have u ever realized that when you know someone likes you, you will not like the person back? However, when the person gave you up, you realized that you have fall for the person. This is considered a big regret, am I rite?

Humans are like that when being liked by someone else, we feel so guarded and don't give a damn to whatever things the person has done for you. We may even feel so proud to think that the person's criteria are not up to your standards. We can pretend to ignore the hints that were being dropped & don't really care. Thinking that our own criteria are also not bad, so do I really like her? Maybe...But I may have a better choice (just because you still think that she's not that 100% perfect) But when you realized that the person has started to move away, don't seem to like you anymore or has started a new relationship with someone else, you become panic. 'Does she think that I don't like her? I don't mean this at all and just don't want to start anything so soon.' Thus, you let down your pride and hint to the person that you also like her. On the contrary, her reactions were very cold. Is there a way now to salvage the situation? Sorry, NO! There isn't. Please, don't feel bad, since both of you can't walk on the same pace at the same time and there's really nothing for you to feel pity about. Moreover, you may not really love that person at all and it's just part of human's predictable phenomenon behaviour that nobody wish to be a loser.

If you don't really wish to leave someone, then it's better not to use break off as a form of threatened. It's mostly too late when you start to feel regret for the things you have said. Sometimes, we really do not wish to continue anymore. It's not that we don't love that person and just that the road ahead is too shaky to step onto. 'Why not we break off? It's best to leave each other before anything turned sour and I will always remember you in the deep of my heart. Probably, we can still remain as friends.' I who have said break up is the one who cried the most. I thought I'll be able to leave you and in actual fact, I can't. When I started to look for you, you said coldly to me that it's better to break off. 'I thought you still love me?' You said calmly that I am the one who initiated the break off and after several days of thoughts; this is better for both of us.

Is it possible to pretend these words were not said in the first place? Sometimes, words that were spoken are impossible to take them back. There's no child play in certain relationships. If you like someone, just tell the person. There are no rights or wrongs in relationships matters. If you like someone, it means that you really like someone and if you don't, it's vice versa.

In this huge world, is it really possible to find someone who's compatible to you in turns of everything ie. characters, looks, interests, behaviors etc? For our own happiness, we always tend to rate someone everytime we meet up. Ironically, the other person will do likewise to us. 100 pts? Where's the hell is that person you rated 100 pts? We seek to find the person with 100 pts but have we ever thought how much pts we are worth? If we don't withhold too much desire in this world, we may probably meet our other half. Although she may not be rated 100 pts by you and may not be with you till the end of your life, that doesnt mean much already. Regardless whether it's love or need, only you, yourself know the best. Don't be bind by words. If you like someone, just let the person know. Treasure the things at this moment is very important. Don't let your happiness slip away.

Does Love Needs A Reason?

2007-11-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

A simple & nice story...

Woman: Why do you like me? Why do you love me?

Man: I can't tell the reason, but I really like you.

Woman: You can't even tell me the reason, how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man: I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Woman: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man: Ok!!! Erm..because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements.

The woman felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the woman met with an accident and was in a comma. The man then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

"Darling, because of your sweet voice that I love you, now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you. Because of your care and concern that I like you, now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you. Because of your smile, because of your every movement that I love you, now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you. If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason? NO!
Therefore, I still love you, and love doesn't need a reason"

Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can only be felt in the heart.....

(Author unknown)

Cosmic Evolution and Impermanence

2007-11-10T16:28:00.001+08:00

The cosmological theory that best describes the current observations of the universe is that of the Big Bang. It is now believed that the universe began its existence some 15 billion years ago with an enormous explosion from an initial state that was extremely tiny, hot and dense and that spawned space and time. Since then, there has been a relentless ascent towards increasing complexity. Beginning with a vacuum filled with energy, through the primordial soup of elementary particles, the universe has woven an immense cosmic tapestry composed of hundreds of billions of galaxies, each made in turn of hundreds of billions stars. In one of these galaxies named "Milky Way", on a planet near a star about 2/3 of the way from the Galactic center toward the edge, humanity appeared, capable of marveling at the beauty and harmony of the cosmos and of asking questions about it.

One of the most remarkable changes of paradigm that has occurred with the advent of the big bang theory is that the universe has acquired a historical dimension. We can now speak of the history of the universe, with a beginning and an end, with a past, present and future. That the universe has a history was not always accepted. Some 24 centuries ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle thought that the Heavens, because they were perfect, had to be unchanging and eternal in contrast to the changeable and imperfect world of the Earth and the Moon. Newton?s universe in the 17th century was static, unchanging and devoid of history. As late as the 1950s, the Steady State Theory, which says that the universe is on the average unchanging both in space and time, was considered a serious rival to the Big Bang Theory. The Big Bang Theory thus introduces the fundamental idea of cosmic evolution. Stars are born, live their lives, and die. In the course of their death throes, the massive stars eject gas that shall serve as seed for the birth of a new generation of stars. Those life and death cycles last from a few million years to several billion years. The universe itself may go through cycles of births and deaths, Big Bangs followed by Big Crunches, although it is not yet clear if the universe contains enough dark matter for its gravity to halt its present motion of expansion and reverse it. The idea of ceaseless change, of constant evolution due to the never-ending chain of causes and effects, is also central to Buddhism. It is called "impermanence"...

What is Loneliness?

2007-11-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

According to the Existentialist, a human being's existence is a lonely existence. At the end of the day, we are all alone. Can anyone ever truly understand what it is to be you, to experience all the things you have experienced, to understand your joys and happiness, your pains and sorrows? Surely we can talk to other people about how we feel, we can draw pictures, we can play music, but all this attempt to communicate ultimately leaves something behind. We cannot always get our feelings, ideas or experiences across exactly. There is a painful reality that ultimately we are alone, by ourselves, and ultimately lonely.

Some people are better at alleviating their loneliness than other people, at hiding their monadic existence than others. For them, loneliness is a fleeting feeling that visits them on cold winter days or cold gloomy rainy days when human contact becomes minimal and they are left only with the thoughts in their heads. For others, loneliness is a curse, a shadow that follows them all the time, that rears its ugly head at every human contact, that surrounds them in their waking and in their dreams.

Whether we would like to agree with it or not, loneliness is a universal phenomenon, it visits every human soul at some time in every culture, every race, every class, every age, and at all times in human history. It is inescapable, and has been expressed throughout the ages in music, literature and art. To feel lonely is to join the rest of humanity in acknowledging that we are somehow fundamentally separated from each other, doomed to speak and yet never fully understood. Not only is loneliness so pervasive, but it has been associated with a variety of different emotions. People who feel lonely describe it as painful, and it is associated very strongly with feelings of depression, suicide, low self-esteem and aggression. Being lonely for too long may not be a good thing. And while we suffer a monadic existence, we are social animals, needing each other, to bond, to connect, to love. It is the paradox of human existence to seek to fill a need that can never be satisfied, to fill the vortex of loneliness in our lives.

So what is loneliness? Is it a feeling? A condition? For different people, it means different things. It is hard to describe exactly what it is, or how come we feel this way. Perhaps a better question is "what is loneliness for you?"

(Author unknown)

Dance Like No One's Watching

2007-11-04T21:41:00.001+08:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one...

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Thought for the day:
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching

(Author unknown)

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

2007-11-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear,
for I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks.
Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression I'm secure, within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no-one,
but don't believe me. Please.

My surface may, seem smooth, but my surface is my mask,
my ever-varying and ever concealing mask.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear,
in aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anyone to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
My only salvation. And I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me, from myself,
from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.

I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm no good,
and that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.
And so begins that parade of masks. And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything, of what's
crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying,
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say,
but, what I can't say.

I dislike hiding. Honestly. I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous,
and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand,
even when that's the last thing I seem to want, or need.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me, the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about men, I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls,
and in this lies my hope. My only hope.
Please try to beat down those walls, with firm hands, but gentle hands,
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you wonder.
I am someone you know very well,
For I am every man you meet and,
I am every woman you meet.

(Author: Charles C.Finn)

A Poem Which I Have Written in 2005

2007-09-30T03:11:00.000+08:00

Inspired to write this on one sleepless night. It strongly relates to what the inner me is going through at that point in time & in turn, released the tribulations from my own upon completing it.

Beneath the masks she used to wear, a forlorn & somber soul lies in there.
Silently wishing one day to be free, free from endless miseries.
Thus she's seeking for a ray of light, a light of hope to salvage her from the cold night.
To liberate her soul out from the dark prison cell, where only loneliness &
bitterness dwells.
Into the path of enlightenment, gradually realising nothing in this world except changes are permanent.
Knowing every matters are due to cause & effects, hence what she sows is what she gets.
Needless to cogitate over the past, since what passed is past and should be forsaken.
Understanding the fact that time can't be reset, one day her mind is fully awakened.

(Jessy Lee)
01 November 2005